Our Wedding Gift From God

December 23, 1966 - When I said "I do"

I married Susan on December 23, 1966. As I looked into her eyes that day and she placed that wedding band on the third finger of my left hand I knew I was the most blessed man on the Earth.  Looking into her eyes I saw into her soul and I knew without a doubt she loved me with all of her heart and soul. I knew that night that no mater what life brought our way she would still love me.

As I saw her standing in that white wedding gown the symbolism of “white” was not lost on her or to me. As the ceremony came to an end and the minister said, “You may now kiss your bride” (Just so you know, he could not have stopped me). As our lips met I experienced not just the physical touch but something wonderful passed between us . . . . I felt as though I had just been touched in my soul/spirit by the love of this wonderful woman. Oh, to be sure we had kissed before . . . plenty of times. There were the “pecks” of affection and the long lingering kisses filled with the passion of young love but . . . . this was different. On Friday night December 23, 1966 with that kiss something stirred within me that night that has never left. I knew I had found the one in whom my soul delights. That has not changed to this day.

It was then that I realized that while I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen let alone met that was not enough for me to marry. It was with that kiss that I began to realize that our love was not born of passion nor of anything else that normally draws a man and woman together. Our love for each other was placed within us by the very hand of God. God joined us as one and my God does not make any mistakes. He acts with purpose and because He does we always believed His love and purposes were a part of the mix. 

I’m sure up until that time in her mind she thought she had wooed and won my heart and  I am sure I thought the same. But with that one kiss that theory was proven wrong. Tt was the growing awareness that the love we had for each other was God’s wedding gift to us. As time went by I discovered that Susan’s love was a reflection of God’s love. Somehow through her life experience she had developed into a young Proverbs 31:30 “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

As the years passed she became more and more into that woman. I remember when delivering her Memorial sermon at her funeral saying. . . . “Susan is not an example of the Proverbs 31woman . . . . she IS that woman.”  I am not trying to say she was without flaw . . . I am saying she is the perfect woman for me. In many ways we were opposites but at the same time we were more than compatible . . . I like to say we were complementary. Only God could match up to people as appropriately as he did us. Our togetherness was a part of His eternal plan.

David and Susan - 2018

She would tell me things like, “You are my rock” and I would say in return, “You are my soft place.” Fast forward fifty-four years and we are sitting at a table saying the same thing. But now, we were marveling at how God had taken two independent young kids (we were 19 when we married) and in 54 years turned us into a single unit. We knew we were facing our final curtain and that not many months were left to us but we were concluding the matter with, “but through it all God had given us a good life and it was made so much better because we did it together.”  Not our way but as best we understood . . . . God’s way.

Susan was my Proverbs 31 woman but she was also a woman. She cared about how she looked . . . . as the years passed she bemoaned the evidence of aging and the changes that made in her appearance. This became even more pronounced as her pancreatic cancer and the chemotherapy ravaged her body. I cried the day she looked at me after seeing herself in the mirror tuned with tears in her eyes said, “I look like a holocaust victim.” 

It as at that point I took her by they hand looked into her eyes, as we often did, and said, “Susan, I don’t love you because of how you look . . . I love you because of who you are.” Then I turned to a picture on our wall from our wedding and said as I pointed at her in that picture and said, “This is the woman I see.” 

Now understand, I am not blind or stupid . . . . I saw what was happening to her physically and I hurt for her. But, I didn’t love her for her beauty. To be sure, in my eyes, she was a most attractive woman and I was always proud to have her by my side at events.  What I fell in love with was her . . . the nice body just a bonus that came with her as a part of the complete package.

The Beauty will fade with time, but heart and soul will always be the same . . . the body will die but the love will never die. Oh, I miss her presence . . . .unless you have been there you cannot understand how much. Our love was deeper than the ocean and higher than the stars. But, changing the pronouns, I prefer the words of Randy Travis who wrote:

Our love is deeper than the holler.

Stronger than the river.

Higher than the pine trees growin' tall upon the hill.

Our love is purer than the snowflakes,

That fall in late December.

And honest as a Robin on a springtime window sill.

And longer than the song of a whippoorwill.

Six months after her passing I am finally getting to place where I can say to the world with conviction the very first Bible verse I remember hearing as a child . . . . “The Lord gives and he Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).

Now you cannot have what we had but if you want it you can have your own version of the gift of God’s love. But you must experience the love of God before you can reflect His love. You can experience the love of God in the person of God’s son, Jesus the Christ. Check it out . . . .it is in the Bible.