"Thank You For Your Service" Covers More Than You Think

Buford M. Appleby, Veteran WWII

I want to begin by saying to all Veterans . . . "Thank You for your service."  I say that with sincerity of heart. My family has a long history of service of which I am proud. Members of my family have served in every generation from the being in the Continental Army during the War for Independence and then in every succeeding war to the present. Others served in peacetime . . .  but all served. But it is to those now living among us I say, "Thank you for your service."

Listening to a friend talk about Veteran's Day and his own coming home from Vietnam in 1970 I got to thinking about veterans both past and present. 

On Memorial Day we celebrate the shortened lives of our soldiers, sailors and airmen who gave their all in defense of this nation. Veteran's Day is the day that we celebrate and thank those who served in this nations defense. 

As he spoke there was line that jumped out to me about veteran's in general but I suspect Vietnam veterans in particular. As he spoke of the difference between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day he said something to the effect of, "Some served and gave their all and others served and came home with their memories . . . but all served.

It was the pathos in his voice when he said "Came home with their memories" that struck me.  My own father, a WWII veteran, would sometime get that strange far away look in his eyes when he went back to those days in his life. He would frequently say to me, "Be nice to people . . . . you don't know the load they are carrying." I sometimes wondered if he wasn't speaking from his wartime experience.

I have some thoughts that I want to share:

There is a sense in which all those men who went to war not only faced death but died. Some died from the bullets and the bombs (those we celebrate on Memorial Day).  Many others who survived the physicality of war but a part of who they were when they first put on that uniform had died somewhere between then and their honorable discharge. They did not come home the same people that they were when they left for the battlefield.

 Oh, they were still Sons and Daughters, Mom’s and Dad’s but not the ones who went marching off to war. Some say that war made them “grow-up” in a hurry; others became cynical; a few became psychotic; others rediscovered their God . . . . . but all were changed in some basic ways. To be sure they came home and tried with all their strength to step back into the life they had before the “War” but some have been able to do so. 

For those with a strong moral ethical core already in place the effect was minimal. For the rest, it really did change their lives. Those who suffer severely we identify as having PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) . . . . .PTSD is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it.  

I am here to tell you that you never get over it . . . . PTSD like grief never goes away. To people suffering from both of these the words , “just get over it” can be infuriating. If they could, don’t you think they would. I don’t pretend to know why we can’t just “get over it” but, I know neither PTSD or grief work that way. You don’t get over it and time does not heal it . . . . you just have to push through it. 

Veterans Recognized in Church

It is always there lurking in the background for some and ever on their minds for others.  The flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event are burned into the subconscious for all but for some it is an ever present companion. Most people who go through traumatic events may have temporary difficulty adjusting and coping, but with time and good self-care, they usually get better others are not so fortunate. 

What I am trying to say is, that just because a veteran was not killed in battle doesn’t mean that he/she didn’t give their all. In point of fact all of them are still giving. Not everyone can compartmentalize their lives. They don’t have a box in which to store those horrific memories. They don’t have a little pocket that they can put their troubles in or the pocket they have is too small.

Homeless Veteran

So on Veteran’s Day thank a Veteran for his/her service. But more importantly do it every day as you cross paths with a veteran. 

Folks, I know it is trite, but, “Freedom isn’t Free!”  I will add that it cost those who defended ours far more than you can know for longer than you can imagine. As you thank them keep in mind some of them paid a high price and some are still paying for rendering that service. And remember: Along with that immaculately dressed veteran who stands up in church to be recognized on Veteran’s Day as we proudly sing the “Salute to the Armed Services Medley” is the homeless bearded guy living in a public park might well have paid a mighty high price to help preserve our freedom.

BTW - I am not offering advise regarding PTSD because I believe that every single case of PTSD has a different genesis and different expression depending on the core person of each individual experiencing it.