Time is Now Fleeting . . . .The Moments Are Passing

Some years ago one of my older cousins made it possible for all of us first cousins to be together for a few days in San Antonio, Texas in what has become known historically as “The Cousins Reunion.” 

Unfortunately like so many of these things in our day a couple of folks just couldn’t make it for a variety of reasons Those of us who were there tried to share the experience but like the old saying goes, “You just had to be there to understand what happened.”

Well, a lot of things did happen but I was struck from the very beginning with how cousins who had not seen or spoken to each other in years just started up as though they had never been apart.  That was my first tip off as to the kind of meeting this was going to be.

I have aways been intrigued by how members of this family could do two things: First, as already mentioned, they could be apart for years and yet when they do get together you’d have thought they’d never been separated; and, second how they could sit together in the same room and speak a paucity of words and yet when they leave come away feeling they’d had a great visit. There was plenty of both at the cousin reunion.

We talked about a lot of things. Older cousins filled-in those who were younger on life in the Appleby Clan before we came along and we who were younger filled them in our our life’s journey.  We marveled how we all shared the same views on family legacy and what was important. We reminisced on the passing of the older generation, namely our parents& grandparents, and the impact each had on our individual and now apparently collective lives.  What we all seemed to intuitively know was that the torch of our “Appleby” family values and heritage was now in the hands of the next generation . . . . . . . our children.

I think at that gathering of what I often refer to as Clan Chiefs we anointed cousin Ben as our honorary Chieftain of our clan. Since he was the oldest it only seemed natural that he should hold the title. Now in days long gone my grandmother Alice would have been our de facto Chieftain. With that out of the way we had a council of conversation where we shared about our own individual clans, memories of each other and finally the Appleby legacy from our time. I have written elsewhere about that legacy.

We took note of the fact that our parents generation was all but gone (though I did remind them that there were a few cousins on both sides of the family still living). However, it was true our parents were all now seated in a heavenly council gathering where the Lord is the Chieftain. This led to the acknowledgment that the next family reunion (metaphor for funeral) would be when one of us becomes the honored guest at a funeral. That is one first honor to which none of us wished to claim title. Unfortunately it will fall to one of us to be the first.

While none of us blood related cousins has yet grasped that brass ring one of our “by marriage” cousins has. This morning I learned that my cousin Judith’s husband, Ronny Miller,  went to be with the Lord last night just as the sun was falling behind the horizon.  Fortunately,  I have for the past eleven years lived close enough to keep up a little with Judy and Ronny.

When I learned that Ronny had passed and the time of his passing was at sunset last evening I thought about that old gospel song . . . . . Angel Band.

The latest sun is sinking fast, my race has nearly run
My strongest trials now are past, my triumph is begun
O come Angel Band, come and around me stand
O bear me away on your snow wings to my immortal home
O bear me away on your snow wings to my immortal home

I know I'm near the holy ranks of friends and kindred dear
I've brushed the dew on Jordan's banks, the crossing must be near
I've almost gained my Heavenly home, my spirit loudly sings
The Holy ones, behold they come, I hear the noise of wings
O bear my longing heart to Him who bled & died for me
Whose blood now cleanses from all sin and gives me victory

I also thought about how his becoming a part of my life influenced me. I want to share just a couple of words about Ron. First I knew he had good judgment and an eye for beauty. I know this because he chose my cousin Judith to be his life long companion.  Come December 14 of this year they would have marked their 62 wedding anniversary. When I was a kid I thought Judy, as we called her then, was just about the prettiest girl I’d ever seen and apparently so did James Ronald Miller. 

Judy is one of the reasons I knew from early on we Appleby's would have nothing but beautiful children and that has proven to be the case. I also learned that that he loved kids. One of my fondest childhood memories occurred shortly after he and Judy married in 1957, probably around 1960 or 62 or so. If it was 1960 they had come to visit Judy's parents but if 1962 it would have been to attend Grandfather Claud Appleby's funeral in May of that year. Regardless of the year or occasion Ronnie took myself and a couple of other my age cousins to Meadow Brook outdoor basketball court where we spent the afternoon . . . . just us guys. It wasn’t a big thing but it was important enough so that now at the age of 72 I still remember it with fondness. 

Among many things our Appleby ancestors left us was a faith that can see beyond today and into eternity. They handed down to us a strong faith in God. So much so that I do not speak of my deceased parents or other family members and friends in the past tense. To be sure they are not here but I know where they are. I also have the assurance from the Word of God, the Bible, that while in so many ways they cannot come here I will most certainly join them at God's appointed time. 

So, I guess for me and I suspect many of my cousins as well as those who have gone before us funerals really are a family reunion. It is a time when many of us who have not seen or spoken to one another are together for a time of renewal, reflection, shared tears and laughter as we remember those who have gone before us. So the funeral becomes our brief Brigadoon before the mist rises and we go our separate ways with the assurance we are a part of a bigger community. I suppose that is also why we need our honorary Chieftain.  

This is perhaps how it should be since most if not all of us who are Christians for whom there is no real death for us. Perhaps we should stop sing about gathering at the river and start singing about gathering at the grave site where we can tune into the fact that those who have gone before us are not dead . . . . it is only their flesh that is mortal that is deposited in the earth . . . .they are now very much alive and with the Lord.  

Jesus said, "I give unto them eternal life and they shall never dies." And Paul added a footnote to that by saying, "For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." Death does not a relationship end if that relationship is connected in Jesus Christ. 

I like to picture life as walking together with Jesus holding our hands. He holds our hand here in this world and he is holding their hand in heaven and because we are both holding His hand and walking with him we are also still walking with each other. Brothers and sisters the journey does not end at the cemetery.  For this reason I invite you by faith take His hand and come walk with us.

Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking with Jesus along
Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking with Jesus along

Living Proof: God Supplies the Needs of His Servants

Many of my contemporaries, myself included, who became pastors of Baptist churches in the 1960-70's believed that we had a Divine calling from God to "preach the gospel." No church ever paid us to preach . . . . we preached because of the call of God on our lives. We preached at the drop of a hat and we preached anywhere we could get an audience.

Now that call was as clear and distinct as was our very salvation experience. It was for us, a specific call to preach and being a pastor was a means of doing that.  To validate that calling our home churches would issue a “License to Preach” which opened the doors to churches other than our home church. Later would come “Ordination to the Gospel Ministry” that signified we had demonstrated the validity of that calling through our preaching.

I believe I told every pulpit (Pastor Search) committee that ever interviewed me, and there were many over the years, not to think that "you are paying me to preach." You see the only reason I changed the trajectory of my life was in  response to God's call on my life to preach and teach the Gospel not to make a living.

Prior to God’s calling me to preach my personal life goal was to teach history at the University level. But on a date certain God touched my life and changed its direction. Sitting in my home church next to the woman who would become my wife I was totally oblivious to what the pastor was saying. I was reading a passage of Scripture when in my heart and in my head I heard God speak to me through that passage. “The verse was one in which Jesus said, “And I If I be lifted up will draw all men unto me.”

Trust me here, I know that Jesus was talking about his own sacrificial death ln the cross. However, on this day God used it totally out of context to speak to my heart and His purpose for my life. That evening I heard the voice of the Lord say, I want you to devote your life full time to lifting me up through the preaching of the Gospel.  Now nearly sixty years later I still feel the imperative of that call.  From that night to this day His word has been as Jeremiah said, “a fire within my bones” so that I had to preach. Believe me when I say this was not what I wanted for my life and it ran contrary to my personality. It was God’s call and it still baffles me as to “why me, Lord?”

Hence, no church ever paid me to preach regardless of what they thought. As I told them, they were paying me so I would not be hindered from preaching by financial stress and to do all the mundane things that we pastors do on behalf of our churches.  Truth be told, money has never been much of a motivator for me. Maybe that is why I have so little. I never asked for a raise and that’s probably why over the years I got so few significant raises. I believed then and I believed now that the single most important thing I did in my life was to be faithful to preach the gospel and He would supply my needs. and He has.

I would add that the woman sitting next to that day I heard God speaking to me about His purpose for my life did in fact become my wife and that too was the result of the hand of God. She proved to be the perfect helpmate for me and a perfect preacher/pastor’s wife. The Lord knew I needed her in my life. Again, He suppled my need.  He always has supplied my need.

The truth is we have never had more than just what we needed for the moment all throughout our ministry. However, the Lord has never failed to meet our life needs including the financial ones.  Every church where I served met my financial needs. From the day I started preaching as a teenage boy God has used His people to supply all my material needs.

Unfortunately, I, like so many of my generation, didn’t have a clue about how to prepare for the day when the Lord says to hang up your guns. Sadly for many of us this “imposed retirement from active ministry leaves us living at or below the federal poverty line. Even more tragic is that many ministers made no preparation for retirement . . . . we just assumed we’d be preaching until we died. If fact, we all seemed to believe we would, and wanted to, die in the pulpit preaching . . . . . that’s how strong this call to preach was.

As I look back on my years as a preacher of the Gospel and a Baptist pastor I wish sometimes I had done more but there is a sense of satisfaction know that God blessed the preaching and ministry I delivered. There is also a sense of gratitude for His care.  Susan and I often look back across the years and marvel and how God has blessed us in our service to Him. Truth is, we can see more clearly from our present perspective of age his providential hand working in our lives.

From the beginning when we left Pasadena, Texas for Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth with our two month old daughter and no money, no job, no housing and knowing not a single person there to this present day He has been faithful to supply our needs. There is the miracle of a last minute wonderful place to live; there are the checks that came in the mail at precisely the right moment; there was the terrific job with Safeway Grocery: and a thousand other things that supplied our needs. We never wanted for sustenance and He brought into our lives such wonderful people as Mrs. Thanish, Trozy Barker, Bob Coleman, Bill Warren, Micky Scott, Jimmy Hedges, David Medley, Jerry Wilkins, Charles Dennis, and Wayne Bowen. So through God’s grace and goodness we found a new home with new friends.

It has been that way all along the journey. We have never had an abundance but we always had what we needed to allow us to continue preaching the Gospel. That journey has taken us to places we never dreamed and it was all one day at a time.  Somehow we knew that the journey would never end and it hasn’t. However, it came to a screeching halt in 2005 when I suffered a major heart attack that took two years to recover from. By then most of my formal opportunities at ministry were over. Doctor’s said I had to avoid the stress that being an active full time pastor entailed.

It was then that God opened another whole knew venue of ministry and one that would help meet my financial needs. For the next several years I served as an unofficial chaplain to the travel industry while working officially as an Independent Contractor with two travel agents associations. Again, God provided just enough to meet our basic needs and allow us to take the Gospel into uncharted waters. I still function in this capacity, except without income, to this day.

It has been a great journey with the Lord. Truth is, life is always good even when it is hard if you are where the Lord wants you to be doing what He wants you doing. However, as I assess my life there is one thing I wish I had understood better. I wish I had known more about preparing for the day when I would not be a pastor or teacher.  To be sure I did a few things right: First, I am glad that I made a decision at the very beginning of my ministry to remain in in Social Security. It has proven to be a major source of income for us.  Back in the 1960's ministers had to opt in or could opt out of Social Security. . . . . it wasn’t mandatory. I opted to stay in.

The other thing I did was sign-up for the old Annuity Board’s Plan A.  Later when that plan was discontinued I moved to one of the new plans. Throughout my ministry had an account with first the Annuity Board and then its successor, Guidestone Financial Services but only paid the minimum amounts into the plans. Salaries were such that it took just about all I was paid to feed my family of six and put three of my children through school.

Unfortunately, my retirement, necessitated by a heart attack I mentioned earlier, came at a downturn in the economy my retirement fund was just a shadow of what it had been. As a result my total income placed us below the federal poverty line.  As stated earlier, during my ministry Susan and I raised our family and survived financially on the generosity of God’s people and prayer . . . . . . . The same is true today.  God is still enabling us to survive and serve and He is still doing it through the generosity of God’s people. We stay financially afloat on the gifts and generosity of God’s people who give to “Mission:Dignity.”  Could we use more? . . . . sure we could; . . . . . . do we sometimes still struggle with finances? . . . . . of course we do . . . . . but then that seems to be the way life has been from the beginning and yet God has always met our needs. Never too much; never to little; always just right.

Oh to be sure there have been heartaches and I've seen my share of troubles; I have bruises and I have taken my lumps. I've had my share of loneliness; I’ve been about, lied to and deceived; I’ve carried burdens, both my own and those of others . . . . . I’ve had to bare burdens and weather dark days that often brought disappointments . . . . Life has not always been easy but God has always been good to me. It's by the grace of God, that I'm still here today.  He was always there, no matter what came my way I felt the His presence in my time of need.

So as I draw closer to the finish line of the race He has called me to run I offer nothing but thanks for the things He has done and in which I shared. I have preached in high places and low, at home and around the world, met and moved among the mighty and walked with the humble. I have seen lives changed, families restored, and watched as He called others to preach, teach and minister in His name from the flock over which I shepherded. So much has he blessed me with the fruit of my labor that what I have outweighs what I do not have. I do not have much in the way of this world’s riches but I am blessed beyond all measure.

So I say with the Psalmist: “I once was young and now I am old, but I have not seen a righteous person forsaken or his descendants begging for bread. Every day he is generous, lending freely,
and his descendants are blessed.”  When God called me to preach as a teenage boy in Pasadena, Texas I had an assurance in my heart that if I was faithful to His calling He would see to it that my needs would be met. I can say from the depth of my soul that I have tried to always be found faithful to my calling in whatever form it took and I can add that He has been faithful in meeting my needs and those of my family. God is good all the time; all the time God is good!

So trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will supply your needs and direct the pathway of your life.