Time is Now Fleeting . . . .The Moments Are Passing

Some years ago one of my older cousins made it possible for all of us first cousins to be together for a few days in San Antonio, Texas in what has become known historically as “The Cousins Reunion.” 

Unfortunately like so many of these things in our day a couple of folks just couldn’t make it for a variety of reasons Those of us who were there tried to share the experience but like the old saying goes, “You just had to be there to understand what happened.”

Well, a lot of things did happen but I was struck from the very beginning with how cousins who had not seen or spoken to each other in years just started up as though they had never been apart.  That was my first tip off as to the kind of meeting this was going to be.

I have aways been intrigued by how members of this family could do two things: First, as already mentioned, they could be apart for years and yet when they do get together you’d have thought they’d never been separated; and, second how they could sit together in the same room and speak a paucity of words and yet when they leave come away feeling they’d had a great visit. There was plenty of both at the cousin reunion.

We talked about a lot of things. Older cousins filled-in those who were younger on life in the Appleby Clan before we came along and we who were younger filled them in our our life’s journey.  We marveled how we all shared the same views on family legacy and what was important. We reminisced on the passing of the older generation, namely our parents& grandparents, and the impact each had on our individual and now apparently collective lives.  What we all seemed to intuitively know was that the torch of our “Appleby” family values and heritage was now in the hands of the next generation . . . . . . . our children.

I think at that gathering of what I often refer to as Clan Chiefs we anointed cousin Ben as our honorary Chieftain of our clan. Since he was the oldest it only seemed natural that he should hold the title. Now in days long gone my grandmother Alice would have been our de facto Chieftain. With that out of the way we had a council of conversation where we shared about our own individual clans, memories of each other and finally the Appleby legacy from our time. I have written elsewhere about that legacy.

We took note of the fact that our parents generation was all but gone (though I did remind them that there were a few cousins on both sides of the family still living). However, it was true our parents were all now seated in a heavenly council gathering where the Lord is the Chieftain. This led to the acknowledgment that the next family reunion (metaphor for funeral) would be when one of us becomes the honored guest at a funeral. That is one first honor to which none of us wished to claim title. Unfortunately it will fall to one of us to be the first.

While none of us blood related cousins has yet grasped that brass ring one of our “by marriage” cousins has. This morning I learned that my cousin Judith’s husband, Ronny Miller,  went to be with the Lord last night just as the sun was falling behind the horizon.  Fortunately,  I have for the past eleven years lived close enough to keep up a little with Judy and Ronny.

When I learned that Ronny had passed and the time of his passing was at sunset last evening I thought about that old gospel song . . . . . Angel Band.

The latest sun is sinking fast, my race has nearly run
My strongest trials now are past, my triumph is begun
O come Angel Band, come and around me stand
O bear me away on your snow wings to my immortal home
O bear me away on your snow wings to my immortal home

I know I'm near the holy ranks of friends and kindred dear
I've brushed the dew on Jordan's banks, the crossing must be near
I've almost gained my Heavenly home, my spirit loudly sings
The Holy ones, behold they come, I hear the noise of wings
O bear my longing heart to Him who bled & died for me
Whose blood now cleanses from all sin and gives me victory

I also thought about how his becoming a part of my life influenced me. I want to share just a couple of words about Ron. First I knew he had good judgment and an eye for beauty. I know this because he chose my cousin Judith to be his life long companion.  Come December 14 of this year they would have marked their 62 wedding anniversary. When I was a kid I thought Judy, as we called her then, was just about the prettiest girl I’d ever seen and apparently so did James Ronald Miller. 

Judy is one of the reasons I knew from early on we Appleby's would have nothing but beautiful children and that has proven to be the case. I also learned that that he loved kids. One of my fondest childhood memories occurred shortly after he and Judy married in 1957, probably around 1960 or 62 or so. If it was 1960 they had come to visit Judy's parents but if 1962 it would have been to attend Grandfather Claud Appleby's funeral in May of that year. Regardless of the year or occasion Ronnie took myself and a couple of other my age cousins to Meadow Brook outdoor basketball court where we spent the afternoon . . . . just us guys. It wasn’t a big thing but it was important enough so that now at the age of 72 I still remember it with fondness. 

Among many things our Appleby ancestors left us was a faith that can see beyond today and into eternity. They handed down to us a strong faith in God. So much so that I do not speak of my deceased parents or other family members and friends in the past tense. To be sure they are not here but I know where they are. I also have the assurance from the Word of God, the Bible, that while in so many ways they cannot come here I will most certainly join them at God's appointed time. 

So, I guess for me and I suspect many of my cousins as well as those who have gone before us funerals really are a family reunion. It is a time when many of us who have not seen or spoken to one another are together for a time of renewal, reflection, shared tears and laughter as we remember those who have gone before us. So the funeral becomes our brief Brigadoon before the mist rises and we go our separate ways with the assurance we are a part of a bigger community. I suppose that is also why we need our honorary Chieftain.  

This is perhaps how it should be since most if not all of us who are Christians for whom there is no real death for us. Perhaps we should stop sing about gathering at the river and start singing about gathering at the grave site where we can tune into the fact that those who have gone before us are not dead . . . . it is only their flesh that is mortal that is deposited in the earth . . . .they are now very much alive and with the Lord.  

Jesus said, "I give unto them eternal life and they shall never dies." And Paul added a footnote to that by saying, "For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." Death does not a relationship end if that relationship is connected in Jesus Christ. 

I like to picture life as walking together with Jesus holding our hands. He holds our hand here in this world and he is holding their hand in heaven and because we are both holding His hand and walking with him we are also still walking with each other. Brothers and sisters the journey does not end at the cemetery.  For this reason I invite you by faith take His hand and come walk with us.

Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking with Jesus along
Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking with Jesus along

Living Proof: God Supplies the Needs of His Servants

Many of my contemporaries, myself included, who became pastors of Baptist churches in the 1960-70's believed that we had a Divine calling from God to "preach the gospel." No church ever paid us to preach . . . . we preached because of the call of God on our lives. We preached at the drop of a hat and we preached anywhere we could get an audience.

Now that call was as clear and distinct as was our very salvation experience. It was for us, a specific call to preach and being a pastor was a means of doing that.  To validate that calling our home churches would issue a “License to Preach” which opened the doors to churches other than our home church. Later would come “Ordination to the Gospel Ministry” that signified we had demonstrated the validity of that calling through our preaching.

I believe I told every pulpit (Pastor Search) committee that ever interviewed me, and there were many over the years, not to think that "you are paying me to preach." You see the only reason I changed the trajectory of my life was in  response to God's call on my life to preach and teach the Gospel not to make a living.

Prior to God’s calling me to preach my personal life goal was to teach history at the University level. But on a date certain God touched my life and changed its direction. Sitting in my home church next to the woman who would become my wife I was totally oblivious to what the pastor was saying. I was reading a passage of Scripture when in my heart and in my head I heard God speak to me through that passage. “The verse was one in which Jesus said, “And I If I be lifted up will draw all men unto me.”

Trust me here, I know that Jesus was talking about his own sacrificial death ln the cross. However, on this day God used it totally out of context to speak to my heart and His purpose for my life. That evening I heard the voice of the Lord say, I want you to devote your life full time to lifting me up through the preaching of the Gospel.  Now nearly sixty years later I still feel the imperative of that call.  From that night to this day His word has been as Jeremiah said, “a fire within my bones” so that I had to preach. Believe me when I say this was not what I wanted for my life and it ran contrary to my personality. It was God’s call and it still baffles me as to “why me, Lord?”

Hence, no church ever paid me to preach regardless of what they thought. As I told them, they were paying me so I would not be hindered from preaching by financial stress and to do all the mundane things that we pastors do on behalf of our churches.  Truth be told, money has never been much of a motivator for me. Maybe that is why I have so little. I never asked for a raise and that’s probably why over the years I got so few significant raises. I believed then and I believed now that the single most important thing I did in my life was to be faithful to preach the gospel and He would supply my needs. and He has.

I would add that the woman sitting next to that day I heard God speaking to me about His purpose for my life did in fact become my wife and that too was the result of the hand of God. She proved to be the perfect helpmate for me and a perfect preacher/pastor’s wife. The Lord knew I needed her in my life. Again, He suppled my need.  He always has supplied my need.

The truth is we have never had more than just what we needed for the moment all throughout our ministry. However, the Lord has never failed to meet our life needs including the financial ones.  Every church where I served met my financial needs. From the day I started preaching as a teenage boy God has used His people to supply all my material needs.

Unfortunately, I, like so many of my generation, didn’t have a clue about how to prepare for the day when the Lord says to hang up your guns. Sadly for many of us this “imposed retirement from active ministry leaves us living at or below the federal poverty line. Even more tragic is that many ministers made no preparation for retirement . . . . we just assumed we’d be preaching until we died. If fact, we all seemed to believe we would, and wanted to, die in the pulpit preaching . . . . . that’s how strong this call to preach was.

As I look back on my years as a preacher of the Gospel and a Baptist pastor I wish sometimes I had done more but there is a sense of satisfaction know that God blessed the preaching and ministry I delivered. There is also a sense of gratitude for His care.  Susan and I often look back across the years and marvel and how God has blessed us in our service to Him. Truth is, we can see more clearly from our present perspective of age his providential hand working in our lives.

From the beginning when we left Pasadena, Texas for Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth with our two month old daughter and no money, no job, no housing and knowing not a single person there to this present day He has been faithful to supply our needs. There is the miracle of a last minute wonderful place to live; there are the checks that came in the mail at precisely the right moment; there was the terrific job with Safeway Grocery: and a thousand other things that supplied our needs. We never wanted for sustenance and He brought into our lives such wonderful people as Mrs. Thanish, Trozy Barker, Bob Coleman, Bill Warren, Micky Scott, Jimmy Hedges, David Medley, Jerry Wilkins, Charles Dennis, and Wayne Bowen. So through God’s grace and goodness we found a new home with new friends.

It has been that way all along the journey. We have never had an abundance but we always had what we needed to allow us to continue preaching the Gospel. That journey has taken us to places we never dreamed and it was all one day at a time.  Somehow we knew that the journey would never end and it hasn’t. However, it came to a screeching halt in 2005 when I suffered a major heart attack that took two years to recover from. By then most of my formal opportunities at ministry were over. Doctor’s said I had to avoid the stress that being an active full time pastor entailed.

It was then that God opened another whole knew venue of ministry and one that would help meet my financial needs. For the next several years I served as an unofficial chaplain to the travel industry while working officially as an Independent Contractor with two travel agents associations. Again, God provided just enough to meet our basic needs and allow us to take the Gospel into uncharted waters. I still function in this capacity, except without income, to this day.

It has been a great journey with the Lord. Truth is, life is always good even when it is hard if you are where the Lord wants you to be doing what He wants you doing. However, as I assess my life there is one thing I wish I had understood better. I wish I had known more about preparing for the day when I would not be a pastor or teacher.  To be sure I did a few things right: First, I am glad that I made a decision at the very beginning of my ministry to remain in in Social Security. It has proven to be a major source of income for us.  Back in the 1960's ministers had to opt in or could opt out of Social Security. . . . . it wasn’t mandatory. I opted to stay in.

The other thing I did was sign-up for the old Annuity Board’s Plan A.  Later when that plan was discontinued I moved to one of the new plans. Throughout my ministry had an account with first the Annuity Board and then its successor, Guidestone Financial Services but only paid the minimum amounts into the plans. Salaries were such that it took just about all I was paid to feed my family of six and put three of my children through school.

Unfortunately, my retirement, necessitated by a heart attack I mentioned earlier, came at a downturn in the economy my retirement fund was just a shadow of what it had been. As a result my total income placed us below the federal poverty line.  As stated earlier, during my ministry Susan and I raised our family and survived financially on the generosity of God’s people and prayer . . . . . . . The same is true today.  God is still enabling us to survive and serve and He is still doing it through the generosity of God’s people. We stay financially afloat on the gifts and generosity of God’s people who give to “Mission:Dignity.”  Could we use more? . . . . sure we could; . . . . . . do we sometimes still struggle with finances? . . . . . of course we do . . . . . but then that seems to be the way life has been from the beginning and yet God has always met our needs. Never too much; never to little; always just right.

Oh to be sure there have been heartaches and I've seen my share of troubles; I have bruises and I have taken my lumps. I've had my share of loneliness; I’ve been about, lied to and deceived; I’ve carried burdens, both my own and those of others . . . . . I’ve had to bare burdens and weather dark days that often brought disappointments . . . . Life has not always been easy but God has always been good to me. It's by the grace of God, that I'm still here today.  He was always there, no matter what came my way I felt the His presence in my time of need.

So as I draw closer to the finish line of the race He has called me to run I offer nothing but thanks for the things He has done and in which I shared. I have preached in high places and low, at home and around the world, met and moved among the mighty and walked with the humble. I have seen lives changed, families restored, and watched as He called others to preach, teach and minister in His name from the flock over which I shepherded. So much has he blessed me with the fruit of my labor that what I have outweighs what I do not have. I do not have much in the way of this world’s riches but I am blessed beyond all measure.

So I say with the Psalmist: “I once was young and now I am old, but I have not seen a righteous person forsaken or his descendants begging for bread. Every day he is generous, lending freely,
and his descendants are blessed.”  When God called me to preach as a teenage boy in Pasadena, Texas I had an assurance in my heart that if I was faithful to His calling He would see to it that my needs would be met. I can say from the depth of my soul that I have tried to always be found faithful to my calling in whatever form it took and I can add that He has been faithful in meeting my needs and those of my family. God is good all the time; all the time God is good!

So trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will supply your needs and direct the pathway of your life.

The Destruction of Cathedral of Notre Dame

I saw in a posting on Facebook asking the question, "Is the destruction of the Cathedral of Notre Dame just the loss of a building or a hole in the soul?" Personally, I would not call it "just the loss of a building" or a "hole in the soul."

It is certainly a loss of magnificent historical building but not "just the loss." Second perhaps to the Vatican it is the greatest historic symbol of resilience and faith of Christians around the world. It physical design reminded us that our God is high and lifted up. To the world in general it is the loss of the peg upon which we recognized our connection with our past both religiously and secularly.

It stood as a testimony to the greatness of God an d the need to worship Him in a Majestic setting befitting His majesty . . . . He is high and lifted up in the Sanctuary of His grace.

It is also a symbol of the ingenuity of man. So with the loss of the building we loose not only a building but an example of our own creativity and that of our fathers.

It is not a "hole in the soul" because the Christian faith is not tied to any earthly construction no matter how grand and how significant it may be. Our faith is in God and not the buildings we construct to honor Him and in which we worship Him. The day has come when our worship is not tied to a building or a place. We worship in Spirit and Truth wherever we are because God meets us where we are. So there is no "hole" only sadness for loss of a meaningful facility.

Worship “in spirit and in truth” is not a call to austere bland worship canters or an end to grand cathedrals. It is a clear declaration that worship is not dependant upon facilities. However, the facilities in which we do worship should be as functional as our faith and as grand as our God that we can make them.

Perhaps in the destruction of Notre Dame has become the symbol of the nature of modern Christianity . . . . a marvelous exterior and a burned-out interior. Christianity appears on the exterior to be the same as always but the interior is far from its spiritual center.

Our works continue . . . . we still feed the hungry, clothe the naked, care for the widow and orphan and fight the scourge of abortion.  Today, more than ever we build great church building to house thousands of people. But we now do them because of our natural human compassion or ambition and it is no longer the “love of Christ” that constrains us. The church has to all external appearances a “form of godliness.”

Is the burning of “Notre Dame” God saying in another way that we have become like the Pharisees of Jesus’ day "whitewashed sepulchers?" It seems to me that it could very well be a call to return to the faith of our fathers . . . . to a real life changing faith in Jesus Christ as the Son of the Living God who died and rose again that men might be delivered from sin and death.  The burden of the outer man is the weakness of the inner man. We have become a people where the body is willing but the spirit is weak. We have our earthly cart ahead of our spiritual horse.

Perhaps nothing symbolizes this more than the fact that after the entire inside of the building was gutted the only thing remaining was the cross. The fire destroyed a building but not a church because the church is not anchored in the building but the product of the cross.

That Cross reminds us of the core of the Christian faith. It is not the works that we do but the Lord that we serve. As long as the cross stands so stands the church. The Christian faith is better seen in the statement "we will rebuild." It is the interior that must be restored and it will be restored around the centrality of that cross.

I saw of Muslim’s praising Allah for the burning of the cathedral as well as others laughing at the burning of Notre Dame. If that is true it will be a short lived moment of celebration. Woe be to them who delight in the pain of God's people. Out of the ashes of the burned-out cathedral sanctuary (symbol for the heart of Christianity) God will raise up a strong and mighty nation (the universal church) through a new birth of faith in, focus on, and commitment to the Christ of whom that lone standing cross in the burned out sanctuary stands.

“Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.  “And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven . . . upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”

Should the Lord delay His return there will be a day in the future in Paris in the Cathedral of Notre Dame when the voices of God's people again sing, from hearts that have been made glad, of His majesty. Some will again see the Lord high and lifted up. It will be the same church on the outside but with a new heart and enthusiasm within.

“Heaven and Earth may pass away but the Word of our God endures forever” and the church which is the body of Christ will endure to become the bride of Christ even if it must be resurrected from the dead,

Don't Call Him A Cowboy Unitl You've Seen How He Wears His Hat.

For some reason I have been thinking about “COWBOY HATS” this morning. It may be because I

live in Texas where they are worn by the Department of Transportation Offices and the Texas Ranger and most of the Sheriff department in the state and have the civilians. It may be because I saw an announcement about George Straight appearing at the close of the Houston Rodeo or the fact that the YMBL’s South Texas State Fair starts soon. I don’t know, but that’s what I am thinking about . . . . that and how many people don’t wear them correctly.

Many years ago I officiated a large western (old west) wedding in our main sanctuary. The gals were all dressed in gingham and the guys had western style tuxedos including cowboy hates. Unfortunately, the groom didn’t understand the etiquette of wearing a cowboy hate. He wanted to keep the hat on all through the service. After myself, all his groomsmen, and the bride tried to convince him to take the hat of when he entered the sanctuary I had to finally tell him, “insist on wearing the hate and there will be no wedding here.” Reluctantly, he agreed.

Next day, as he entered the sanctuary he grudgingly removed his hat, handed to the best man to hold and got through the whole service without incident. It wasn’t until the processional and he passed out of the sanctuary he replaced the hat on his head with such force that in came down over his ears. The place erupted with laughter.

That brings me to my point. A cowboy hat is more than just one of the most beloved items of western wear. Here in Texas is a rite of passage for every who aspires to be a cowboy. This would be at events such as the Houston Rodeo and all rodeos in the state and any other western themed event.  However, for all you occasional “cowboys”  types and those who aspire to be a true Texan, garb and all there are actually some well established rule for wearing your cowboy hat.

As illustrated by the little story above the number one rule is knowing when to remove your hat. This rule applies not only to when to remove your “cowboy” hat but to any hat a man might be wearing. The except is people in uniform. Military, police and others whose hat (Cover) is part of their uniform. But then they when in uniform wouldn’t be wearing a cowboy hat or any other hat for that matter. For the rest, you should remove your hat on the following occasions:

1. During the National Anthem and hold it over your heart.
2. Pledge of Allegiance and hold it over your heart,
3. The passing of the flag,
4. In church . . . . . there is an exception as it relates to a new phenomenon called “Cowboy Church.” In this fast growing church, cowboys are allowed to wear their hats at an indoor service, but they must take it off for prayer or the Lord’s Prayer.
5. During a prayer,
6. During a funeral procession.
7. When introduced to a woman. You can hold the hat in one hand while you shake her hand in greeting with the other. If you are just passing a lady on a walkway just a “tip of the hat is needed.
8. When entering a building or private home,
9. When you begin a new conversation,
10. When dining in a restaurant or sitting down for a meal. . . . . You should remove your hat while eating for a couple of reasons:  First, it shows respect to the people that prepared the meal and second, it shows that you plan on staying a while and enjoying the conversation. My exception is, if there isn't any were to put the hat. Keep it on. No hooks or shelf, I refuse to put in on the floor or in another chair. Back in the day many of the old chairs had a hat shelf. It was the crossbars that stabilized the chair with another one or two joining it in the middle. This was invented so hats could go under the seat but not on the floor. Alas they are no more.
11. When speaking with  anyone who is considered your superior.
12. When at “Mommas” house.  There is little more disrespectful thing you can do than wearing your cowboy hat inside your mama’s house. This includes your friend’s mama’s house, as well. Moms are sacred and every cowboy knows it. Don’t do it.

The second rule has to do with what kind of cowboy hat you wear and for what occasions. As a

general rule a felt hat is for the Fall and winter and a straw hat is for Spring and Summer. This began as a practical matter, felt keeps the head warm in cold months and straw hats are cooler in hot months. So when the weather changes it is time to change hats. I’d add that you have a hat for special occasions and one for everyday use. Don’t wear you sweat stained hat to a fancy western ball and don’t wear your formal hat to a cattle auction.

Rule number three has to do with how to hold your western (cowboy) hat when it is not on your head. Don’t be seen doing it wrong because it will let everyone know you’re just a cowboy want-to-be dude (newbie). When carrying your hat in your hand always hold it by the crown so that the opening from the head is turned toward your body. The idea is to keep the hat lining concealed.

When not wearing your cowboy hat or holding it in your hand it should be properly stored in a travel hat box that will protect it from being crushed.  If setting the hat down on a flat surface it should be placed so as to rest on its crown.

Lastly and maybe most importantly NEVER mess with another cowboy's hat. Not only is it considered bad luck, but this is an extremely personal item that is often expensive. Let’s get this one right . . . . . .  a cowboy hat is not a toy. It is not okay to touch another cowboy’s hat, or put on a another cowboy’s hat that is lying around the house. It is not okay to grab it off a cowboy’s head, and it is absolutely forbidden to say, as you reach out, “Gee, what’s that made of?”

There are two exceptions to this rule . . . . . The first is a cowboy’s fiancé may touch a cowboy’s hat once and that is on the honeymoon. The second is that a grandchild may do whatever they want to a cowboy hat, short of sleeping in it. It is, after all, just a hat. I know that doesn’t seem fair, but that’s just the deal.

So now you know . . . . wear those "Cowboy" hats (Western) correctly and don't let those who now the rules sinker behind your back. Go get'em cowboy! Oh yea . . . don't put your hat an the bed as it will bring bad luck and don't put it on its brim as that will empty out you good luck.

What's the rule for women and their cowboy hats . . . well, there ain't no rule. Most of the rules listed here just DO NOT apply to the ladies.

Wedding & Funerals: Honorarium or Fee

As a Baptist preacher I have officiated a lot of weddings and funerals since I first started back in the 1960's. As a now retired Baptist preacher I still officiate a lot of weddings and funerals. The difference is that now it is usually it is wedding of the grandchildren of former parishioners who want the guy that married Mom and Dad to do their wedding as well. Funerals are now largely for good friends.

One thing that is constant is the confusion people have over whether or not you should pay the preacher for these services. It was clear for me that when it came to members of the church where I preached these functions were a part on my ministry to the congregation. However, when a preacher is invited to participate in such things for people outside the congregation there should be some sort of financial consideration. 

Please take note that I said, “Clear for me.” I do not hold anyone else to my conscience on this matter.  I must, however, point out that when I was active in the pastorate I was frequently asked if I charged for things like weddings and funerals. Truth be told I still get that question from time to time.

I need to point out that there are two schools of thought on “paying the preacher.” There is the fee for service wherein people are paying a fixed fee for a specific service just like they would at the Justice of the Peace. Some churches even codify this in their operations and personnel manuals. Then there is the “honorarium” method. This is a gift of an amount given in appreciation and gratitude for the time and energy the minister puts into the service. The amount is chosen by the person doing the giving.  These are the two basic approaches to “paying the preacher” for officiating the service.

When I was asked about this I always replied, "I have no fee schedule for these things. I see them as a part of my ministry." People would usually then ask something like, "well what about people who are not members of your church?" The answer was the same, "I have no fee schedule for these things. I see them as a part of my ministry."

Then they would often ask, "Well, do you accept honorariums for wedding and funerals?" I always responded, "Well, if someone wants to give something I am thankful for the thoughtfulness and happy to accept it."  (Personally, I never even looked to see the amount until after everyone was gone.) 

This would usually be followed by the question they really wanted to ask, "How much do most people give as an honorarium?"  In the case of weddings I'd often look at the groom and jokingly say, "Well, what is she worth to you?"  The quick witted ones would always say, "I can't afford that much." Regarding funerals I unusually did not need to say anything because the funeral home personnel handling the service usually took the initiative on this with the family as a part of their service planning.

The truth is everyone who asks this question genuinely want to give an appropriate honorarium. On this I could always tell them that from time to time there have been unusually large and exceptionally small amounts but the average usually was within a range of . . . .

I know, I know, now your curious about the range of the honorarium. The truth is when it comes  to an honorarium the amounts ranged from a low of nothing to a high of in excess of $1000 and in every case the amount was always within the range of a persons ability to give.  You see, as an honorarium the amount is determined by the giver and therefore rarely arbitrary. As to an average amount of the wedding honorariums I’d guess the ran about $200 and for funerals about $100.

For me an honorarium, whether received or given, was never a matter of amount. I expected people to stay within their means and budget. For me it has always about thoughtfulness and appreciation.

Now, just because I did not have a fee schedule does not mean that people who do have set fees are somehow less honorable than those of us who do not. There is no moral rule on this subject and there are strong arguments for both.  For me the honorarium just fits better with my sense of ministry and was compatible with my conscience.  I do not impose my conscience on others in this matter.

Have I ever not received an honorarium for a wedding or funeral or some other service? Yep. It has happened. There have been a few cases where I drove hundreds of miles to do a funeral for the family of a former church member and all the cost came out of my pocket. But that, for me was OK. Like I said I see this as ministry. I must also quickly say this was the rare exception. It has happened for weddings as well. I have even been known to give the groom back his money because I knew his finances were very tight. Like I said, it is all about the thoughtfulness and the gratitude not the amount.

So what’s my advise? If there is no fee schedule I suggest that you consider all the elements involved in providing this service, whether it be a wedding or a funeral, and determine in your own mind the amount of an honorarium you can give with a cheerful heart. I can assure you it will be grateful received with equal joy.

When They Say All Manner Of Evil

I recently read on a Facebook posting a comment about Chuck Lorre of the television show “The Big Bang Theory” Lorre, they said, is “the Producer is an anti-Christian Bigot and is known to put disgusting things after the show's ending” As I read through the comments I encountered statements like, “ He is a damn asshole liberal....”

Taken as a whole, the above got me to thinking about how we as Christians should be responding to the people who clearly are not only intellectually opposed to the Christian faith and Christians but who choose to engage in actively ridiculing the faith and those who hold to it.

Let me be clear, I am not critical of persons informing us of such people or even advising us to avoid or counter such persons as Chuck Lorre. I am not opposed to people personally choosing to avoid attending or watching their productions. In point of fact, I view such decisions as a kind of “Affirmative Action” designed to protect one self from being exposed to such anti-Christian material and a way of countering what one finds offensive.

I certainly believe that as Christians we need to oppose and offer alternatives to men such as Chuck Lorre and their anti-Christian actions. However, it was the response “He is a damn asshole liberal” that got me thinking about our responses to such people.

The first thing I thought was, “Was that an appropriate response? It seemed to me that a Christian would have chosen a different adjective to describe a Liberal. I will certainly acknowledge that it is graphic and serves to express a level detestation that runs pretty deep. It also, in my view, reveals something of the heart of the person speaking.

Secondly, it seems to foster confrontation and does not move us forward. You don’t win people by calling the, “assholes” and the like. That is a pejorative that puts people on the defensive and confirms their thinking about Christians.

Chuck Lorre is a sinner who has not been saved by the grace of God because he has steadfastly refused to put his faith in the completed work of Jesus Christ. That is what he is. That may not be the sum total of who he is but it is the reason for his actions and attitudes. Truth is, Everything else flows out of that.

In that sense he is no different that each of us before we placed our faith in Jesus Christ. He is exactly what Saul of Tarsus was before he met Jesus in a life changing way as he was making his way to Damascus to imprison and otherwise persecute Christians and became Paul the Apostle. My advice is, "Pray for his salvation."

My point is that we must look past the outward actions and activities of those who oppose us as Christians and recognize the fact that while they may attack our faith and all that we hold dear it is not truly us they are angry with or have hate toward. They really are angry with God and they hate the Lord Jesus. The problem is, we represent Him to them and so they attack us.

They only attack those believers who actually live out their faith seriously in the public square. They want to push the influence of Christ on our world into a closet. Once we understand that it is the fact that our beliefs produce a lifestyle that is in contradiction to us we will understand why they hate us. We do not have to say a word to them about their sin because the way we lives telegraphs to them that we do not accept or approve of their lifestyle.

Just living out the principles of the Word of God puts us at odds with those who don’t know Him. Because this serves as an irritant that makes them terribly uncomfortable they seek to destroy our voice by shutting our voice and behavior out of the public square. They hate Jesus  but they express that hatred toward His people.

In the words of Wisdom 2:12-21

 12 Therefore let us lie in wait for the righteous; because he is not for our turn, and he is clean contrary to our doings: he

upbraideth us with our offending the law, and objecteth to our infamy the transgressings of our education. 13 He professeth to have the knowledge of God: and he calleth himself the child of the Lord. 14 He was made to reprove our thoughts. 15 He is grievous unto us even to behold: for his life is not like other men's, his ways are of another fashion. 16 We are esteemed of him as counterfeits: he abstaineth from our ways as from filthiness: he pronounceth the end of the just to be blessed, and maketh his boast that God is his father. 17 Let us see if his words be true: and let us prove what shall happen in the end of him. 18 For if the just man be the son of God, he will help him, and deliver him from the hand of his enemies. 19 Let us examine him with despitefulness and torture, that we may know his meekness, and prove his patience. 20 Let us condemn him with a shameful death: for by his own saying he shall be respected. 21 Such things they did imagine, and were deceived: for their own wickedness hath blinded them.

Our response should be twofold. First we should recognize the cause of their opposition to Christians and Christianity . . . . namely, they are unsaved. Recognizing their alienation from God and His people and the things of God we should pray for their salvation. Not only should we pray we should actively and aggressively present the Gospel of redemption to them. Confront them with the fact that before God there are sinners; share that in spite of their sinful lives God loves them as sent Jesus to die for their sins; we need to make sure they know that this condition while fatal is not inevitable. They can be forgiven and transformed by the power of the Gospel.

Second, we are to be active in the public square. We must be actively involved in the political, social and economic mechanisms of out society.  If we are not we will with escalating speed so our religious and civil liberties taken from us by those who neither understand us or like us.

However, we cannot do that by stooping to their levels of action and expression. We must be, as they think we believe, better than that. Our actions must always reflect the love and grace of God. After all Jesus did not just die for our sins only but for the sins of the whole world.

The Bible tells us, “[Jesus] is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.” (1 John 2:2 NIV).  Jesus died for the sins of every person who ever lived . . . . . including mine, yours and theirs. That’s how much He loves us. If you believe in Him as your Savior, full forgiveness and salvation in heaven is yours. You don’t receive those gifts by anything you do or don’t do. It’s a free gift, given by grace. Unfortunately not everyone will accept the gift He offers.

The Measure of Success As A Preacher

Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands." Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword. - Exodus 17:8-12 I was watching a tribute to the late Evangelist Billy Graham on the one year anniversary of his passing at the age of 99 when I once again began to recall the few times in my life when our paths crossed and our lives touched. The first, was when I was visiting Houston Baptist College in the mid 1960's; the second was a few years later when I was attending Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and the third was in Denver Colorado where I attended a Billy Graham School of Evangelism. Each of those encounters was pivotal in my life. They were short and informal conversations from which I drew great encouragement. I am certain that for him those three occasion became lost in the thousands of other brief moments in his life but for me they have loomed larger than life. During that first three or four sentence conversation in which he asked me, "What do you plan do with your life?" I replied, :To be a preacher." Now, 54 years later, his response still rings within my heart and soul. I hear it as clearly today as I did that day . . . . "Then preach the Cross - stay with the gospel." The truth is we preachers have a responsibility to encourage young men called to preach. We need to encourage them to be true to the gospel and preach Christ Jesus. We need to ingrain within their soul the eternal truth that what the world needs and really wants is to see Jesus and know that in Him they can have their sins forgiven and their destiny assured. The second time, at SWBTS, the takeaway was drawn from the fact that as he was walking past a line of students in which I was standing he stopped abruptly, looked at me and said, "We've met before." The mere fact that as he was leaving he recognized me in that crowd and remembered meeting me somewhere previously. Again, I was lifted up and encouraged. As an aside, I also remember once when I was a newly arrived preacher in Beaumont, Texas and attending the Golden Triangle Baptist Association's annual Evangelism Conference that only a few of my new colleagues every spoke to me beyond, "Good to see you brother," as they made their way to someone else. Well, as the Lord would have it a dear friend, who at the time happened to be the Director of Evangelism for the Home Mission Board, Darrell Robinson was the principle preacher for the event. After he spoke and while prayer was being offered he stepped down from the platform and quietly came and sat down beside me. By that simple act he raised my presence among my new colleagues. Not only so but a handful of my Deacons who were in attendance as well. At the end of that evening program nearly every colleague want to speak to and with me. This is what great leaders do. If they by a word or an action can encourage and lift others then they speak that word or take that action. Now, in Darrell's case it was intentional but in Graham's case it was habit. Both of these men were encourager's to me and I suspect neither long remembered the words spoken or actions taken. I could go on and on naming the people who the Lord used to touch my ministry and shaped my life but my point is that what we have received we are to "Go thou and do likewise." Each of us is to be an encourager. Whether by design or by habit of life we can do for others what these two men did for me. None of these words or actions were a big deal to them but these small actions were a big deal to my life, my preaching and ministry in general. That brings me to another thought that is closely related. I know a lot of people who in the Christian realm (applies elsewhere too) were strong leaders in and of their own rights but never achieved that greatness that makes one's name synonymous with some achievement. Of these people, I have heard some critically say things like, "Oh, how sad they never reached their full potential." Or, "Isn't it sad, they had so much potential but never realized it." To that I have a couple of things to say. First, a word about "achieving greatness." I am pretty sure that is not the goal of the God called preacher. There are no illusions of greatness only a desire to faithfully preach the Gospel in the place where God places us. The measure of greatness before God is faithfulness in service. We must always remember that every Christian leader, especially His preachers, serves at the pleasure of the Lord. He calls them, equips them and assigns them a realm of service. Every person who answers that call and faithfully serves where assigned is already successful. They may not achieve greatness but after all they are servants of the Lord. I always wonder when people come away with more praise for the earthly leader than the Lord he proclaims. Sadly for far too many success is measured in worldly terms. We have still not moved too far from the old three "B's" of success, that is, buildings, budget and baptisms. We look at the size of the building in which they preach and the crowd numbers to whom they preach and how much money comes into the church coffers. By these standards clearly some are faring better than others. But keep in mind many a secular leader has done the same. The 3 "B's"" has always been the wrong standard of greatness and success for the body of Christ, . . . the church. Fortunately it is the Lord, not his people, who decide the standards of success and greatness. We forget that Jesus stated the standard of success by saying, "He who is faithful over little  will be made ruler over much." I remember a day when among preachers there was no hierarchy of authority, success etc. We were brothers in Christ called by the Lord to preach the same gospel and to do so wherever the Lord chose to place us. Too be sure some were deeper thinkers and others better orators but all had the same call and same measure of the Holy Spirit to accomplish what God assigned them individually. I remember hearing a Fort Worth pastor's reply to a young theological student who was being critical of churches made up of largely "high society" types. He said, "God calls some to minister to the 'up and out' and others to the 'down and out'. . . . clearly He has called you to later." There is an old gospel song that says, Brighten the Corner Were You Are." We remember that we are to do that by remember that Jesus is the light of the world so as Bill Graham admonished me 54 years ago, just preach Jesus. By worldly standard William Carey was a failure but by divine determination he without doubt heard upon entering Heaven, "Well done thou good and faithful servant." We seem to forget that regardless of the level of success by the "3 B's" unless you are in the place where God wants you doing the things He assigned you, . . . . .you have not succeeded. As ministers of the Gospel we are part of a team and we are not the leader of that team. We are literally a "Band of Brothers." As such we endeavor to encourage one another; we take opportunities to lift one another in prayer; we counsel one another; and we respect each other as our equal. Moses was the great man God had called and assigned the task of leading Israel out of Egyptian bondage. As that God called leader endeavoring that God assigned take he made both good and bad choices and was judged not by his peers and not by his people but by the God who called him and assigned him his task. So for 40 years he wandered in the wilderness with a rebellious bunch of God's people. However, Moses was not the only leader among the throngs of people. There were many. These included men like Hur, Joshua and Aaron. They were pivotal to Moses being able to successfully complete the assignment God assigned him. They did this by being faithful to the task to which God called them. A powerful example of what they did to insure that Moses and with him Israel's success was assured was when the Amalekites, a group of nomadic raiders, attacked Israel. You remember that while Joshua led the Israel's troops into battle Mosses, Hur and Aaron watched from a nearby hill. As they watched they noticed that as long as Moses had his hands raised the battle went favorably but as he wearied and let his hand drop the battle went against them. Seeing this Hur and Aaron responded by helping Moses keep his arms lifted. The came alongside and strengthened him for his task. As each was faithful to their tasks the victory was theirs. Faithfull over little  . . . to ruler over much."  Moses was the senior guy with the call to deliver Israel from Egypt and bring them to the promised land. Joshua, Hur and Aaron's task was to support Moses. Interestingly enough Moses was permitted to see the Promised Land but God selected Joshua to lead Israel to possess the land. All of us who have been called of the Lord to preach the Gospel are of equal standing before the Lord. Hopefully we are in the place that the Lord wants us. Let us, who are called of God to preach, be faithful where he places us to preach the gospel and not fall into Satan's trap that has already consumed so many by thinking that big equals success. As brothers in calling we should not be jealous of each other nor disparaging of each other. Instead we should encourage and pray for one another. And as I mention in the beginning it is little things we do and say that are more often than not pivotal to our lives. Jesus has said,  "Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life."