Time is Now Fleeting . . . .The Moments Are Passing

Some years ago one of my older cousins made it possible for all of us first cousins to be together for a few days in San Antonio, Texas in what has become known historically as “The Cousins Reunion.” 

Unfortunately like so many of these things in our day a couple of folks just couldn’t make it for a variety of reasons Those of us who were there tried to share the experience but like the old saying goes, “You just had to be there to understand what happened.”

Well, a lot of things did happen but I was struck from the very beginning with how cousins who had not seen or spoken to each other in years just started up as though they had never been apart.  That was my first tip off as to the kind of meeting this was going to be.

I have aways been intrigued by how members of this family could do two things: First, as already mentioned, they could be apart for years and yet when they do get together you’d have thought they’d never been separated; and, second how they could sit together in the same room and speak a paucity of words and yet when they leave come away feeling they’d had a great visit. There was plenty of both at the cousin reunion.

We talked about a lot of things. Older cousins filled-in those who were younger on life in the Appleby Clan before we came along and we who were younger filled them in our our life’s journey.  We marveled how we all shared the same views on family legacy and what was important. We reminisced on the passing of the older generation, namely our parents& grandparents, and the impact each had on our individual and now apparently collective lives.  What we all seemed to intuitively know was that the torch of our “Appleby” family values and heritage was now in the hands of the next generation . . . . . . . our children.

I think at that gathering of what I often refer to as Clan Chiefs we anointed cousin Ben as our honorary Chieftain of our clan. Since he was the oldest it only seemed natural that he should hold the title. Now in days long gone my grandmother Alice would have been our de facto Chieftain. With that out of the way we had a council of conversation where we shared about our own individual clans, memories of each other and finally the Appleby legacy from our time. I have written elsewhere about that legacy.

We took note of the fact that our parents generation was all but gone (though I did remind them that there were a few cousins on both sides of the family still living). However, it was true our parents were all now seated in a heavenly council gathering where the Lord is the Chieftain. This led to the acknowledgment that the next family reunion (metaphor for funeral) would be when one of us becomes the honored guest at a funeral. That is one first honor to which none of us wished to claim title. Unfortunately it will fall to one of us to be the first.

While none of us blood related cousins has yet grasped that brass ring one of our “by marriage” cousins has. This morning I learned that my cousin Judith’s husband, Ronny Miller,  went to be with the Lord last night just as the sun was falling behind the horizon.  Fortunately,  I have for the past eleven years lived close enough to keep up a little with Judy and Ronny.

When I learned that Ronny had passed and the time of his passing was at sunset last evening I thought about that old gospel song . . . . . Angel Band.

The latest sun is sinking fast, my race has nearly run
My strongest trials now are past, my triumph is begun
O come Angel Band, come and around me stand
O bear me away on your snow wings to my immortal home
O bear me away on your snow wings to my immortal home

I know I'm near the holy ranks of friends and kindred dear
I've brushed the dew on Jordan's banks, the crossing must be near
I've almost gained my Heavenly home, my spirit loudly sings
The Holy ones, behold they come, I hear the noise of wings
O bear my longing heart to Him who bled & died for me
Whose blood now cleanses from all sin and gives me victory

I also thought about how his becoming a part of my life influenced me. I want to share just a couple of words about Ron. First I knew he had good judgment and an eye for beauty. I know this because he chose my cousin Judith to be his life long companion.  Come December 14 of this year they would have marked their 62 wedding anniversary. When I was a kid I thought Judy, as we called her then, was just about the prettiest girl I’d ever seen and apparently so did James Ronald Miller. 

Judy is one of the reasons I knew from early on we Appleby's would have nothing but beautiful children and that has proven to be the case. I also learned that that he loved kids. One of my fondest childhood memories occurred shortly after he and Judy married in 1957, probably around 1960 or 62 or so. If it was 1960 they had come to visit Judy's parents but if 1962 it would have been to attend Grandfather Claud Appleby's funeral in May of that year. Regardless of the year or occasion Ronnie took myself and a couple of other my age cousins to Meadow Brook outdoor basketball court where we spent the afternoon . . . . just us guys. It wasn’t a big thing but it was important enough so that now at the age of 72 I still remember it with fondness. 

Among many things our Appleby ancestors left us was a faith that can see beyond today and into eternity. They handed down to us a strong faith in God. So much so that I do not speak of my deceased parents or other family members and friends in the past tense. To be sure they are not here but I know where they are. I also have the assurance from the Word of God, the Bible, that while in so many ways they cannot come here I will most certainly join them at God's appointed time. 

So, I guess for me and I suspect many of my cousins as well as those who have gone before us funerals really are a family reunion. It is a time when many of us who have not seen or spoken to one another are together for a time of renewal, reflection, shared tears and laughter as we remember those who have gone before us. So the funeral becomes our brief Brigadoon before the mist rises and we go our separate ways with the assurance we are a part of a bigger community. I suppose that is also why we need our honorary Chieftain.  

This is perhaps how it should be since most if not all of us who are Christians for whom there is no real death for us. Perhaps we should stop sing about gathering at the river and start singing about gathering at the grave site where we can tune into the fact that those who have gone before us are not dead . . . . it is only their flesh that is mortal that is deposited in the earth . . . .they are now very much alive and with the Lord.  

Jesus said, "I give unto them eternal life and they shall never dies." And Paul added a footnote to that by saying, "For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." Death does not a relationship end if that relationship is connected in Jesus Christ. 

I like to picture life as walking together with Jesus holding our hands. He holds our hand here in this world and he is holding their hand in heaven and because we are both holding His hand and walking with him we are also still walking with each other. Brothers and sisters the journey does not end at the cemetery.  For this reason I invite you by faith take His hand and come walk with us.

Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking with Jesus along
Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking with Jesus, walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus along

Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking everyday, walking all the way
Walking in the sunlight, walking in the shadow
Walking with Jesus along