All my good wishes go with you tonight I've been in love like you.
Let me share something that we started when we were very young lovers and continued for more than 55 years. It worked well for us and it or something like it might work equally well for you.
Susan and I made it a practice like everyone else of visiting the local Whataburger or Casa Ole for a meal. Nothing really special in the way of an event but a great way to spend a little time together in the middle of a busy life. Please don’t discount the value these kinds of events can be in enriching your relationship.
However, a couple of times a year Susan and I would have dinner at a nice restaurant with a piano bar. This would usually be on her birthday or our anniversary. It was my way of saying how grateful I was that she was born and that she was my bride. These were “dress up dates” where we dressed to say to one another you’re special and the ordinary is not sufficient to say just how special.
It was a kind of putting on our Sunday best for each other and having dinner with an intimate crowd of strangers. I would, when making the reservation, make sure and tell the person taking our reservation to make a note that it was a special occasion for a very special lady and then detail what I was hoping to have in the way of a table, it’s location and other details. I never had an issue. In fact, more often than not the reply I’d get was along the line, “Thank you Mr. Appleby and don’t worry about anything our staff will do everything they can to make your dinner a memorable occasion. Most good “upscale” restaurants will do that. I remember especially one dinner where the restaurant pulled out all the stops and went far and above my expectations and causing Susan to say as we drove home, “Be sure and send them a thank you note tomorrow.” I said I would gladly do so but “be sure and remind me but why? She replied, “Because they made me feel like royalty.”
However, that being said, it was not uncommon for us on Sundays that wherever we had lunch we sought out a table for just two in a quiet spot. I have mentioned before that at our favorite Italian restaurant in Beaumont, Frankie's, we virtually always had the same table for two by the window and at Susan’s favorite Mexican restaurant it was the same quiet corner table in the bar area. Even when on a cruise with friends we'd slip away at some point and just the two of us would have a nice lunch together. All of this was in an attempt to let Susan know that there was no one else I'd rather be with than her
To be sure we had dinner with friends and family which were always times that we cherished. We knew a lot of people who we considered friends, but our circle of close friends was rather small, and we relished time with them over a meal.
Now having said all that, I still feel the table for two in a nice romantic setting with the sound of quiet music from the piano bar was merely window dressing for some of the best times we spent together. However, I must say that the surroundings and the meal were but window dressing . . . it was the quiet, relaxed time together that mattered and made the difference.
The truth is, we all have to eat and for the most part that is a pretty perfunctory and routine activity. All of the dressing up, upscale dining, elegant surroundings and ambiance were just material ways of saying to Susan, “You are the most important person in my life, and I want to experience the best that I can offer.” Would she have been happy without it? I’m sure she would. But that isn’t the question is it. The question was, “How I would feel if I didn’t give it to her?”
The truth is that what I have described is but one of a myriad of ways we learned to say, “I love you” and “I value you.” I agree with Solomon who said, “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” (Proverbs 3:15) Many years ago when I was not much more than a newlywed an old retired preacher known simply as Brother Black said to me, “Son I know you’re a young preacher but there is something you need to know about your responsibly to God and that is, your number one priority in ministry is not the church you serve . . . . It is to take care of your bride. "The Lord expects you to take care of your bride, and he will take care of His.”
Love her with all of your heart as she has loved you. Don’t give her your love in bits and pieces or for a moment or an hour. Love her as you loved her from the start . . . love her with every beat of your heart. Find ways to show it . . . don’t let it be a secret love . . . tell her through how you relate to her in public and in private how much you love her.
I knew back on December 23, 1966, when Rev. Estol Williams looked me in the eye and said, “Will you have Susan to be your lawful wedded wife” and I responded, “I do” that I was also being charged by God to love her as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. (See Ephesians 5:25). Under God she was to be my one and only true love and I was to make she knew it.
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