My first thought about that verse was, “Wow! All these years I’ve been reading this proverb wrong. He didn’t say finding a “good” wife. Instead, he said “finding a wife is a good thing.” I’m pretty sure had you asked me to quote this verse yesterday I would have said, “He that finds a good wife has found a good thing.” I would add that from a woman’s point of view that verse would have been written, “Finding a husband.” So, anything I say today will follow the general idea that what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
What I am hearing is, that it is a good thing to face life as a committed couple. God created Eve as the completion of Adam by bringing to the relationship what he needed . . . . what is lacking in him. Solomon affirms that a marriage relationship between a man and a woman is a good thing . . . even if it is not always a constantly euphoric thing. Marriage in too many instances evolves into a static thing when God intended it to be a dynamic and growing relationship. For the Christian that growing relationship is known as the process of becoming one flesh . . . . i.e., growing and maturing into oneness. Unfortunately, most of us are not developed enough in character and maturity to avoid the friction created by the oneness process.
I have often wondered if God doesn’t bring couples together based not so much on their love for each other but because each hold within themselves what the other needs for a balanced life. It is here that we must ask the question: “If I am not getting what I need could it be that I am not giving what my spouse needs? Just a thought.
I doubt anyone would argue with the statement: “We all bring our bags of "stuff," both good and bad, to our relationships. The bags of trash are easy to spot because they stink so bad. In fact, they stink so bad that others see them before we or our spouse do. They were there all the time, but I guess love really is blind or maybe just stupid. Whatever kept us from seeing them and their seriousness before we married sure left after we married. Maybe we just ignored what we saw or what others pointed out. Somehow, we see the bags of treasure but too often we are blind to the importance of the trash bags.
The challenge is to find the bags of treasure. We need to keep reminding ourselves why we married this person in the first place. The bags of treasure also have their own aroma but sadly once we marry their sweet aroma is often overwhelmed by the stinky stuff. Sometimes the onion has to be peeled to get to the good stuff. I was so very blessed that my life companion had so very little trash and so much treasure. So what's the answer? Finding a good wife is not only a good thing, it the best thing.
A Personal Word: I have been asked so many times what was it that made Susan the lovely person she was. Susan was a role model par excellence. Anyone who used her as a model for living life would be a better person for it. She certainly faced all the challenges of life that is common to our humanity and specific to her own life experience not to mention mine. She had her share of heartache and pain, sorrow and happiness. As you know, I spent 60+ years knowing and seeing her in just about any and every life experience you can imagine, and I would say of her today what Jesus said of Nathanael, "behold a woman in whom there is no guile." She was the best of the best. Her greatest gift from God was that she loved with the love of the Lord and that love broke any and all barriers down.
Me, well I had so much stinky trash that I am still a work in progress . . . but thank God, He is not finished with me yet and He is not through with you either.
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