Man and Woman: Competitors or Companions

We have raised a generation that is intent on proving that women can do anything a man can. Unfortunately as a consequence of that drive women are losing their femininity and the uniqueness of their creation.  

The God-given femininity and uniqueness of their creation is what enables women and I might add men to fulfill the purposes for which they were created. God never created women to be equal to do everything a man can do. Quiet the contrary, women were created to do everything a man can't do." 

Before I go further with this theme let me point out that this has little if anything to do with whether or not women work outside the home or have a career. However, it does have everything to do with God’s design for the relationship of a woman to a man and vis-a-visa.   

This is clear from the meaning of the words translated “helpmate”(עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ)  It means “to make up what is lacking” and carries the additional idea of strength and equality. Nonetheless, there is a subtle hint of voluntary submission in describing woman as her husband’s helper. None of this denigrates but rather elevates both the man and the woman by pointing to each ones uniqueness of creation.

As one who is called alongside to make up what is lacking woman is man’s paraclete . . . . one called alongside to help to shore him up or help him achieve his creation purpose. This must be understood in the context that what God is doing by creating man as male and female is creating the conditions whereby they shall become one flesh.

Now what does that mean? Becoming one flesh means that as husband and wife you live a shared life. It is not simply the sharing of a bed and consummation of a marriage. That is a part and an important part of becoming one flesh. It is important enough so that the Scripture speaks plainly about the physical and intimate fleshly relationship of a husband and wife. 

Yes there is more than just sharing a bed . . . . . it involves the joy and sorrow; your hopes and fears; successes and failures; money and possessions; as well as bodies and souls. You share everything with each other. And in the process, God weaves you together as one. You’re two people truly united and become one flesh. 

More importantly becoming one flesh only intensifies over time. I really like the idea of making up what is lacking in one another. To those rare couples who achieve the biblical one flesh death feels like you have literally lost not just a part of your body but part of your soul and spirit as well.  When you rip your body apart, it HURTS.

This explains in large measure why I feel so lost without my Susan. We were certainly companions; we were also compatible, but more importantly we were complimentary. Were I am weak she was strong and where she was weak I was strong. Over sixty years of relationship and 54 plus years of marriage we became one flesh. 

To be sure we understood that each of us was uniquely created by God and capable within ourselves. However, we also believed God chose us from our birth to be together and that he put us together as husband and wife and then brought us into a oneness that can only be described as becoming one flesh. 

But Susan and I also knew that together we were stronger. As she battled pancreatic cancer she would clasp right hands and she would say, “Stronger together.” Hence, now that she has entered into her eternal and heavenly reward I am discovering daily . . . . sometimes moment by moment . . . . where she was making up where I am lacking and so, I intensely miss her presence.

Consider the lioness . . . . . the lioness does not try to be the lion. She embraces her role as the lioness. She is powerful, strong, and nurturing. She does not mistake her meekness for weakness. The world needs more kind, compassionate, humble, faithful, persevering, confident, fierce, bold, pure, and tender-hearted women.