No, Never Alone

 WOW, that’s about all I can say about 2020. Well, that’s not exactly true but it does express my dominant emotional response to this past year. We’ve all faced unprecedented challenges and I’ll not detail them here. You have yours and I have mine. Suffice it to say not many of us have lived through a year like 2020.

I recently remarked to a friend that 2020 has been a revelatory year for me but I am still trying to find meaning in it all. Especially what a merciful God is saying to us through these difficult days. I know He has purpose in all this chaos . . . . . I am just having a hard time identifying it. 

We’ve all faced unprecedented challenges this year that we could have never imagined back on January 1, 2020.  I’ve discovered things about colleagues, friends, family and acquaintances that I never knew. I’ve had political fears and suspicions confirmed. More importantly I have discovered and in some cases rediscovered things about myself. Some of it has been positive and some of it, well, let’s just say some of it has been less than uplifting

I believe I could spend many a paragraph waxing eloquent about all the inconvenience, cost, loss and pain we have all suffered in 2020 but I’ll leave that to others. I’ll simply say that like so many others I have suffered loss in just about every aspect of life . . . . some permanent and other transitory. 

However, as I reflect on 2020 I have chosen to not focus so much on the negatives, and believe me, there are plenty of those. Family members have died as have dear friends who in any other year would still be with us. Assets have dwindled and income has slowed to a trickle.

Recognizing all that I suppose the thing that has impacted me the most in 2020 was the isolation. The outrageously and in my view counterproductive quarantining has probably killed more people, destroyed more marriages, caused more suicides and generated more anger than the pandemic that it was supposed to address. 

This enforced isolation and its effects has underscored for me the importance of relationships and connectivity, of humanity and kindness and of strength and resilience. These are things that have been seen time and again through the actions of my clients, colleagues, friends and family.

God did not create us to be alone. He created us to live in relationships. In fact, in Genesis 2:18 God Himself observes, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”  Isolation and aloneness breeds loneliness, melancholy and depression. I may not need you and you may not need me but we all need someone. 

We are social creatures and when deprived of social interaction we begin to die. I think often of my wife’s elderly aunt when told she would be isolated for her protection and to keep her alive. She responded, “This is not keeping me alive . . . . it is just a slow death and it certainly isn’t living.”

The loss of restaurants, bars, churches and a hundred other shut down businesses as “none essential” services is bogus. These institutions are essential to our humanity. These are the places where our social needs are met. Without them we begin to experience a steady decline in our humanity. Many of us, even the most isolationist of us, can go for short times without human contact. However, none of us can go for too long that way. Why do you think that “solitary confinement” in prisons is considered the worst kind of punishment. Many convicted sexual predators placed in isolation for their own safety end up committing suicide. 

To be clear, short periods of quarantining may be necessary and doable but long term isolation becomes counterproductive and even destructive. We were created by a merciful God in such a way as to make community an essential element in our well-being. 

One of the reasons, in my judgement, that social media has been such a major player this past year is that it provided us with a platform to form a false community. The need for human touch was being met without real touching. 

I suggest the following when this isolation/quarantining lunacy has past you involve yourself in some social group like a church or club of sum kind.

1. Become a part of and get involved with a spiritual/religious group or church. Nowhere can you experience community better than in a church. For Christians this is essential as Scripture warns against failure to live in community by failing to assemble as a body of believers. 

2. If you have an Alumni group (High School or College) get involved with the former student organizations.

3. Make an effort to bring together your extended family. This offers a terrific opportunity to build a community where both group and individual have significance.

4. Become involved in a civic club or political action group.

You should also keep in mind that socialization is the process of internalizing the norms and ideologies of society. It encompasses both learning and teaching and is thus "the means by which social and cultural continuity are attained."  Want to change the society then begin by breaking up the various social groups within that society/culture.

 You should also keep in mind that socialization is strongly connected to individual development especially as concerns what is proper behavior and what is not.

My point is, "Refuse to allow yourself to be severed from your community.”  Without you that community is diminished but more importantly you need community to remain vital emotionally and mentally. I want my friends to remain safe but I don’t want them, or me for that matter, to loose our ever loving minds.