Now That I Have Retired

I read a post by Sue Russell Dismukes on Facebook about how time has passed so quickly since retirement and how she could make a short list of the things she misses from her job and a long one for what she doesn't miss. It got me to thinking along those same lines

The list of things I miss would be very short and the things I don't miss might be a bit longer.

However, the ones I miss . . . .I really do miss! Now that shouldn't be news to anyone because I suspect it is true for most of us who are officially “retired.” What might be more surprising to you, as it was to me, is what was actually on my short list when I finally sat down and wrote it.

When I actually sat down to make that list I thought, “It’s a short list how long can it take and how hard could it be?” Well, it took a lot longer and was a lot harder that my initial impression. It really wasn’t easy.

First, I had to take an inventory of just what I did during my pre-retirement years. I must confess that when I got finished doing that I was absolutely mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. The occasion for making my list was in preparation for a biography I am in the early stages of writing.

It was mentally exhausting because it required me to reach into the file cabinet of my mind and recall and organize the memories that I find there. Emotionally exhausting because I had to relive all the painful events in my life as well as the lives of those to whom I ministered. Physically exhausting because of the amount of time and energy put into the effort. I remember a speech teacher in College and later one of my professors of preaching saying that preaching one sermon on Sunday morning was as emotionally, mentally and physically draining as eight hours of hard physical work. Now, 52 years after I first heard that all I can say is, “I believe it!”

At any rate, what I list here will not be complete . . . . that would require the book I plan to write. This list will be in any order of priority I give to each activity. When it came what I missed the most and what I missed the least . . . well, that was easy. It is all the things in-between those two extremes that defied being ranked in order of significance. Besides, I don’t need them all for the book.

I suppose I should give you a little background. I often just assume that people know what I did with my life. Having spent most of it in the public eye and on the stage. Mmy mind sometimes forgets about the passage of time. So many of the people who would know what I did with my life have now entered into their eternal reward . . . . for you more contemporary people that is a metaphor for, “They’re dead.”

When I was a senior at Pasadena High School in Pasadena, Texas I had an experience with God during a Sunday night worship service that brought purpose and meaning to my life. My intention was to teach history at some University but that night God spoke to me so clearly that it almost seemed to be an audible voice. That voice was wrapped in the statement of Jesus, “And I, if I be lifted up will draw all men unto me.” In my mind that was God telling me that my life was to be invested in lifting Jesus up and that is what I have tried to do for the last 52 years.

On that night a struggle in my life came to an end when I said to God and that congregation that God had called me to preach. I made it clear that he did not call me to pastor, he did not call me to some oblique ministry . . . . no! He called me to preach and that is what I have been all my life. I am a preacher first, second and last. To be sure I have performed the tasks of a pastor, I have been involved in missions, visited the sick, cared for the dying, fed the hungry and all the rest. But that was not what I was called to do . . . .no indeed, it was what I was obligated to do as a Christian.  I was called to preach the unsearchable riches of God in Christ Jesus to both saints and sinners.

Why do I tell you this you wonder? I tell it because it relates directly to the thing a miss more than anything else in life. The number one thing I miss is standing at the sacred desk week after week proclaiming the truth of the Word of God to God’s people. Now people who know me well aren’t surprised by that but those who know me casually might be.

Let me explain. I am not by nature a person who as a rule being the center of attention. I can sit quietly on the sideline and be happy. I really did not like being in front of a crowd and have to
say something. I have never entered the pulpit that inside my nerves were all over the place. But somehow by the grace of God when I got there opened that Bible and began to read that nervous person left and someone I never really got to know came forth and preached with authority and confidence as the Holy Spirit of God did His work.  In that moment the pulpit became the most comfortable and only place I wanted to be.

So, there you have it. My number one missed thing was the regular preaching. Oh, I enjoyed teaching. . . . . . but I relished preaching. I just had this conviction that I believe came from God that night at the Boulevard Baptist Church in Pasadena, Texas when He called me to be His preacher.

As I understood that calling it was to preach. Small group large congregation didn’t matter to me. I have preached to the 3 or 4 gathered in His name and to the 100's gathered in His house. When God called me to preach it was almost like He was saying,

 “Ok, here is the deal. I have chosen you not because I needed you or you are worthy of anything. I have chosen you simply because it is what I wanted to do and as God I have that right.” He continued, “And here is what I expect from you. Prepare your self intellectually; prepare yourself spiritually; and prepare yourself collegially (in short associates with others I have called to preach).  Why, because on a day that I will choose I will have you stand for me and when you do I want you to do so with intellectual, spiritual and communal integrity.  And remember, I am not holding you responsible for the results I am holding you responsible for your obedience to My call. Once you have finished the preaching step aside and let My Spirit do His work. It is He who is responsible for the results.”

It like God was saying, “You take my words that my Spirit impresses on your heart and faithfully and truthfully speak them to the people and then my Spirit will take them and speak to the appropriate people in the congregation.” So when I say the number one thing I miss is the week by week public proclamation of the Gospel this is what I am speaking about.

The number two thing that I miss is the collegiality with others who God has called to preach the Gospel. I am not at all sure I appreciated it at the time but being a preacher of the Gospel has brought some of the greatest leaders of Christianity in our time into my life. Now mark it well, I do not see a pecking order of importance among preachers. As preachers share the same calling from God. We all serve the same God, preach the same Gospel, have the same calling from God’s perspective we are all the same and that is how it should be among us for the most part in my experience that’s the way it was. From Europe to Australia God has brought godly men into my life to enrich my life. (I’ll not detail it here . . . . buy the book).

There is only one feeling that exceeds that of preaching in the power of the Holy Spirit and that is the fellowship one shares with others who do the same.  During 52 years of being a preacher God brings a lot of people into your life. Some for long periods; some just momentarily; and in a wide variety of personalities but all with purpose and meaning. One of the benefits of this fellowship was reflected in my life just a week or so ago when I was down because of my back. Notes began to arrive from people we had served with over the years. I got messages of sympathy and prayers for recovery from fellow “Preachers” from around the world.  Maybe that account for me feeling no pain when I went to the spine doctor.  At any rate, while that fellowship continues it is getting smaller, though no less significant, as time and people pass. I never wanted to achieve greatness in this life but I have always being with those whom God has called and learning what God was doing through them.

Number three on the list is a bit harder and maybe harder to explain. It is the relationships that you develop as you minister to members of the church and as you work with them in ministry. By “members” I mean those people on whose life my ministry had a major impact in some way. There is something about walking with people through the valleys of their lives representing in a physical way God’s presence that binds lives together. This one surprised me. You see, of all the things I enjoyed the least it was visiting people in the hospital. I had to be trained to do that. That training took place at Memorial Hospital in Southwest Houston (Old Houston Baptist Hospital). Dr. Tom Cole and Tim Van Divendyke took me under their wing and helped me “learn” how to make a meaningful hospital visit and how to grow from it even if I didn’t like doing it . . . .and I never did get to where I liked it. I got pretty good at it but never liked doing it.

So there you have it. That’s my short list. If I go any further I will quickly move from least enjoyed to those I hated to do.

So that brings me to a suggestion for the rest of you retired folks . . . . Identify what you liked most about your job or profession and then find a new way to do it. After 52 years there is little chance that a man of my age will ever stand week after week in a pulpit but, and that is a big. But, he can still proclaim the unsearchable riches of God in Christ Jesus through social media and writing and perhaps the use of Youtube. My point is find a way to keep what beings you joy from your working years and use it to provide joy in your retirement years. That may take some reflection and honest evaluation coupled with some creative thinking. Not to worry these activities are good for you. You cannot help aging but you can stay young of mind and heart and find significance and meaning in your retirement years.