He Really Was A Good Man

The last few weeks have been less than stellar for me. I spent Christmas and the week following in the hospital trying to get over a bout of pneumonia. During that same time my step father-in-law passed away. Being in the hospital prevented me from attending his funeral and I feel very badly about that. You see my father-in-law, Floyd Dees, was one of the finest men I have ever known.
I well remember the day I first met him. He had just married my wife's mother and they had come to Texas from North Carolina to "meet the family." They pulled up in front of our home and we went out to greet them and immediately a bond was formed. I think we played five rounds of golf that week including the newly opened Tour 18.

Over the years we traveled back and forth as did they and the bond between us only strengthen. You see Floyd and I have many of the same passions. We were both avid golfers. Floyd never seemed as "at home" as when he was on the golf course. He was generous as a playing partner and he was unrelenting as a competitor. Even when he was well into his 70's he could still put together a round in the 60's. I remember the day he and I were playing, (mostly for me as his COPD was already making playing hard) a young twosome joined us and were sort of pushing us. Floyd's competitive spirit got up and he played the back nine at the course in Hope Mills in 32 to beat them. Floyd was in his 70's. As we drove back to the house he was absolutely worn out. He said, "Bro. David, (that's what always he called me) I'm not sure it was worth it to beat them that way." I looked at him and said, "You know it was" and he chuckled a little.

The other passion we shared was fishing. I had begun fishing as child with an uncle and continued for many years. In fact for many years I carried two things in my car trunk - a set of golf clubs and a couple of fishing poles. We didn't fish as much as we played golf but I recall a few outings along the way. One was a day spent on Hope Mills Lake in Hope Mills, North Carolina. It was there, leisurely drifting on that lake that he told me about his growing up and the roll that lake had played in his life. Turns out he not only fished that lake but he was also baptized in it.

It was during those times that we talked about anything and everything. We talked about family; we talked a little church; we talked a lot of golf; drank gallons of coffee and ate a whole bunch of biscuits. It was during that time that I realized how much Floyd and my dad were alike. I suppose because the were children of their times but alike none-the-less. Both men didn't say much unless they had something to contribute. Both men were keen observers of people. Both men were Mechanics by trade. Both men served in combat during WWII in Europe. In fact, I remember him mentioning one day that he never got his "ruptured duck" when he was discharged. He said,  "I always wanted one to wear in my coat."  When I returned home I sent him one that my Dad had.

For a long time my wife and I would fly or drive to North Carolina to visit regularly. In fact we were set to go this past Fall when my own health issue got in the way. During those visits we would visit with their friends; I'd work on the house and property; and we'd just sit and visit for long periods. If his son were announcing local football, or coaching a girls softball game or just about anything else he would be there.  If I were in town I'd be there alonside him.  I remember we nearly froze to death once watching a football game.  I even got to attend a couple of Dee's family reunions over the years.

Everywhere we went it seemed folks knew him. We'd go in a store and it was "Hello Mr. Dees." Check in at any North Carolina golf course and it "Mr. Dees, good to see you." Seems everyone knew him and respected him.  They always referred to him as "Mr. Dees."  Scripture says, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold." (prov 21:1)  I don't know about the silver and gold but the "good name" and "favor" he had in spades.

He was a generous man. He was always giving. He'd give people money just to enjoy their reaction. I recall spending a day with him in his little shop where he worked on golf clubs and fishing stuff. We had already played a round of golf that morning and during the round he had me try a Big Bertha Driver he recently bought.  As we were finishing up he handed me a sack with some ball markers and towels from prominent golf courses. Then he reached over and handed me the Big Bertha and said, "You hit this club pretty good today I want you to have it."   Additionally, you could hardly ever buy his lunch. He was going to pay his own way and yours too.

He was a true family man. I do not believe any son had the unqualified support of his father like Floyd's son Eddie. He was proud of the man he had become for which refused to take credit. I give it to him any way. He loved his grandchildren and took great joy in them But he also loved his step children and grandchildren. It didn't matter how you were connected to him, if you were connected he was going to love you and honor you.  I wouldn't trade my own Dad for anyone else but if my Dad had not been my father I wouldn't have been disappointed to have Floyd Dees to be that man. As it was I had the advantage in many ways of having it both ways.  Floyd was the age of my father when my father died when I first met him. So, I'll just claim him as my latter years Dad.

Lastly, I observed that Floyd was loved by children of all ages. I watched as his nieces and nephews interacted with him and he with them. I know how my own grand children felt about him. Then, when I saw the photos of him as a young man I realized he was like that all his life. Babies and children just captured his heart and he theirs.  One of my granddaughter's kept his photo on her vanity mirror for several year. Only recently moving it.

One of the hardest things for me to watch, even from a distance, was Floyd's physical deterioration. I had watched my own father suffer from the same thing. It hurt because I knew from the beginning of his diagnosis what he was facing and could almost lay down the mile markers. It all came to an end on December 22, 2012. Floyd Dees went to be with his Lord having fought a good fight and finished his course.

Mark Shriver wrote a book about his father, Sargent Shriver, entitled "A Good Man." It is a great book and worth reading. Well I am here to tell you that Floyd Dees was in every way imaginable A Good Man! One that I am proud to have known and who I am personally going to miss.