He Really Was A Good Man

The last few weeks have been less than stellar for me. I spent Christmas and the week following in the hospital trying to get over a bout of pneumonia. During that same time my step father-in-law passed away. Being in the hospital prevented me from attending his funeral and I feel very badly about that. You see my father-in-law, Floyd Dees, was one of the finest men I have ever known.
I well remember the day I first met him. He had just married my wife's mother and they had come to Texas from North Carolina to "meet the family." They pulled up in front of our home and we went out to greet them and immediately a bond was formed. I think we played five rounds of golf that week including the newly opened Tour 18.

Over the years we traveled back and forth as did they and the bond between us only strengthen. You see Floyd and I have many of the same passions. We were both avid golfers. Floyd never seemed as "at home" as when he was on the golf course. He was generous as a playing partner and he was unrelenting as a competitor. Even when he was well into his 70's he could still put together a round in the 60's. I remember the day he and I were playing, (mostly for me as his COPD was already making playing hard) a young twosome joined us and were sort of pushing us. Floyd's competitive spirit got up and he played the back nine at the course in Hope Mills in 32 to beat them. Floyd was in his 70's. As we drove back to the house he was absolutely worn out. He said, "Bro. David, (that's what always he called me) I'm not sure it was worth it to beat them that way." I looked at him and said, "You know it was" and he chuckled a little.

The other passion we shared was fishing. I had begun fishing as child with an uncle and continued for many years. In fact for many years I carried two things in my car trunk - a set of golf clubs and a couple of fishing poles. We didn't fish as much as we played golf but I recall a few outings along the way. One was a day spent on Hope Mills Lake in Hope Mills, North Carolina. It was there, leisurely drifting on that lake that he told me about his growing up and the roll that lake had played in his life. Turns out he not only fished that lake but he was also baptized in it.

It was during those times that we talked about anything and everything. We talked about family; we talked a little church; we talked a lot of golf; drank gallons of coffee and ate a whole bunch of biscuits. It was during that time that I realized how much Floyd and my dad were alike. I suppose because the were children of their times but alike none-the-less. Both men didn't say much unless they had something to contribute. Both men were keen observers of people. Both men were Mechanics by trade. Both men served in combat during WWII in Europe. In fact, I remember him mentioning one day that he never got his "ruptured duck" when he was discharged. He said,  "I always wanted one to wear in my coat."  When I returned home I sent him one that my Dad had.

For a long time my wife and I would fly or drive to North Carolina to visit regularly. In fact we were set to go this past Fall when my own health issue got in the way. During those visits we would visit with their friends; I'd work on the house and property; and we'd just sit and visit for long periods. If his son were announcing local football, or coaching a girls softball game or just about anything else he would be there.  If I were in town I'd be there alonside him.  I remember we nearly froze to death once watching a football game.  I even got to attend a couple of Dee's family reunions over the years.

Everywhere we went it seemed folks knew him. We'd go in a store and it was "Hello Mr. Dees." Check in at any North Carolina golf course and it "Mr. Dees, good to see you." Seems everyone knew him and respected him.  They always referred to him as "Mr. Dees."  Scripture says, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold." (prov 21:1)  I don't know about the silver and gold but the "good name" and "favor" he had in spades.

He was a generous man. He was always giving. He'd give people money just to enjoy their reaction. I recall spending a day with him in his little shop where he worked on golf clubs and fishing stuff. We had already played a round of golf that morning and during the round he had me try a Big Bertha Driver he recently bought.  As we were finishing up he handed me a sack with some ball markers and towels from prominent golf courses. Then he reached over and handed me the Big Bertha and said, "You hit this club pretty good today I want you to have it."   Additionally, you could hardly ever buy his lunch. He was going to pay his own way and yours too.

He was a true family man. I do not believe any son had the unqualified support of his father like Floyd's son Eddie. He was proud of the man he had become for which refused to take credit. I give it to him any way. He loved his grandchildren and took great joy in them But he also loved his step children and grandchildren. It didn't matter how you were connected to him, if you were connected he was going to love you and honor you.  I wouldn't trade my own Dad for anyone else but if my Dad had not been my father I wouldn't have been disappointed to have Floyd Dees to be that man. As it was I had the advantage in many ways of having it both ways.  Floyd was the age of my father when my father died when I first met him. So, I'll just claim him as my latter years Dad.

Lastly, I observed that Floyd was loved by children of all ages. I watched as his nieces and nephews interacted with him and he with them. I know how my own grand children felt about him. Then, when I saw the photos of him as a young man I realized he was like that all his life. Babies and children just captured his heart and he theirs.  One of my granddaughter's kept his photo on her vanity mirror for several year. Only recently moving it.

One of the hardest things for me to watch, even from a distance, was Floyd's physical deterioration. I had watched my own father suffer from the same thing. It hurt because I knew from the beginning of his diagnosis what he was facing and could almost lay down the mile markers. It all came to an end on December 22, 2012. Floyd Dees went to be with his Lord having fought a good fight and finished his course.

Mark Shriver wrote a book about his father, Sargent Shriver, entitled "A Good Man." It is a great book and worth reading. Well I am here to tell you that Floyd Dees was in every way imaginable A Good Man! One that I am proud to have known and who I am personally going to miss.

What if you Knew You Only Had Days to Live.

If you knew you had only a few months to live, how would you use that time? Would you allow despair to overwhelm you? Would you find a way to still have a life? How would you keep the fear of death from ruining the days you had left? Many people have considered these questions in theory, but when Mike Toby, pastor of Woodway Baptist Church near Waco, Texas was diagnosed with stage 4 glioblastoma, a fatal illness for which there is essentially no real treatment and no cure, he now has to face them in reality.

Mike has decided not to undergo any treatment. He explains his reasons in a video made for the church where he serves. You can view the video and draw your own conclusions. But for me, speaking as a fellow traveler, I understand and applaud Mike's choice.

Mike and I grew up in the same town, Pasadena, Texas. He is 18 days younger than me. We attended many of the same schools and even graduated together in 1965 as part of what I believe may be the best graduating class Pasadena High School has ever produced. Some might argue with me about that but they'd be wrong. We knew each other and while we were not "best buds" we shared many similar experiences along the way.

We were both members of the Baptist Churches where we received Christ as our Lord and Savior and were baptized. Mike was on the west side of town and I was on the east side. He grew up under the tutelage of Dalton Havard at Richey Street Baptist Church and I under Estol Williams at Boulevard Baptist.  Our town was full of Baptist churches and during the 1960's God was in the process of calling out from those churches a cadre of young "preacher boys" who would go on to literally take the gospel to the ends of the earth.

We believed, at least in the little "school of the prophets" to which I belonged that God was going to do a great and mighty work through us. We didn't realize at the time that if He used us at all that would in and of itself be a great and mighty work. We "preached" at the drop of a hat whether it was in a Sunday School Class in our home churches or for some vacationing pastor. We didn't see big church or little churches back then. All we saw was a chance to preach the "Word" and call people to faith in Jesus Christ.

I remember Mike leading out at school in our Youth for Christ group. He organized and enlisted people to do the morning devotions and payers over the school public address system and was a major player in organizing our Senior Banquet as a kind of substitute (not really) for the non-dancing Baptist etc.  I recall that he was sitting at the table just next to the one occupied by me, John Crocker and Mike Harris and our dates. (BTW - who at our table knocked the parfait on the floor) Seems Mike had the flashiest jacket in the place.

 Mike and I even attended the same University (Houston Baptist College in those days) for a while. I was there to become a preacher and Mike was there to meet his future wife (I jest). They've been together ever since. That's when our lives went in different directions though would not really be that different. As he and I sought to follow the Lord's leadership for our individual lives and ministries he ended up more or less on the west side of the state while I went east. I digress.

My point is that we, me, Mike and a whole bunch of other young "preacher boys" in Pasadena,  a good beginning. We were surrounded by people who encouraged us and yes even praised our often less than stellar efforts at ministry. The one thing of which we were constantly being reminded by our respective pastors and fellow church members was that any positive responses to our efforts was the result of God's Spirit and not our abilities. We really came to believe that God would meet our needs, anoint our lives for service and bless our efforts. This became so much a part of our lives that if we held a service and no one trusted Christ we literally ached with disappointment.

I remember my pastor telling me as he paraphrased Philippians 1:6 that the same God who had begun a good work in me would never abandon me, would give me grace for service and life, would fight my battles for me, and one day bring the work started to completion in a manner appropriate to His will. Philippians 1:1-6 became so much a part of my life that it appeared below my signature on nearly every letter I have written.

Having said all that I want come back to Mike and his situation. His election and calling have been made secure in Christ Jesus so death is not his enemy anymore. He has faced those questions raised in the very first paragraph of this writing knowing that the same God who began a work in him as a lad in Pasadena, Texas is bringing that work to completion and in the process will not leave or forsake him.

He is doing what he learned from a child . . . to walk by faith until his faith shall become sight. He knows that whether or not he ever stands on another platform and preaches to another gathering of people that he is right now preaching the greatest sermon of his life. The title is "The Sufficiency of God's Grace." - Trials may be dark on every hand and we may not understand all the ways that God will lead us o the blessed promised land but this one thing we know is that He will guide us with His eye as we follow until we die then He'll take us by our hand and lead us into that wonderful Beulah Land.

I read somewhere where some one wrote that Mike had spent 35 years at FBC Woodway telling them how to live but now he is showing them how to die. I remember well standing at my father's graveside in Houston's National Cemetery as we committed my Dad's mortal remains to the earth and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for his life and saying, "in living your life you taught us how we should live and in your death you taught us how to die. For that I give thanks to God."

One of the Deacons at Mike's church reportedly said, "The Lord is using him to teach us how to die. Considering the fact we all have to die, this may be the best sermon he's ever going to preach," I learned a long time ago there are a lot of reasons not to argue with a Deacon but I don't know if this is the best sermon he ever preached but it certainly is one of the most important. I rather suspect to it the conclusion to the one his life has been preaching for a long time now.  Someone has said, I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day." Well here's your chance. Pay close attention because it will tell you something about the grace and promises of God. Just keep in mind that what Mike is able to preach today is really the end of a sermon that began in Pasadena, Texas when a young boy became a child of God by faith in Jesus Christ.

Should the Lord elect to perform one of His miracles I am certain no one will object. In the meanwhile our prayers are with Mike and his family.

Both John and Charles Wesley, founders of the movement that became known as Methodism, claimed that one of the distinguishing features of the Christian was, among other things, how they faced death. John Wesley is reported to have said, Our people die well."  There is a book by Joseph D. McPherson entitled, "Our People Die Well:" Glorious Accounts of Early Methodists at Death's Door. I highly recommend you read it.

So I end with the words to my Mom's favorite hymn:
(ti αντιμετωπίσει πρόσωπο με τον Χριστό Σωτήρα μου)

Face to face with Christ my Savior,
Face to face, what will it be,
When with rapture I behold Him,
Jesus Christ, who died for me?

Only faintly now I see Him,
With the darkening veil between,
But a blessed day is coming,
When His glory shall be seen.

What rejoicing in His presence,
When are banished grief and pain;
When the crooked ways are straightened,
And the dark things shall be plain!

Face to face! oh, blissful moment!
Face to face to see and know;
Face to face with my Redeemer,
Jesus Christ, who loves me so.

Refrain
Face to face I shall behold Him,
Far beyond the starry sky;
Face to face in all His glory
I shall see Him by and by!