Not By Might Nor By Power But By My Spirit Says The Lord.

This may well be the longest Blog entry I have ever written and I wouldn’t blame you one bit for not making the effort to read it all. However I believe if you do, you might pick up a gem or two along the way.  In the four churches where God allowed me to serve we started with limited resources of people but over time in three of the four we had to expand our facilities to make room for the people attending.  

I have been a Baptist pastor all of my adult life and I like to think I have learned a few things about Baptist churches and how to organize them for growth.  In my first church I mostly learned what does not work. I was a novice. I had not even finished seminary yet and so was still in the idealist mode and a believer in everything I had been taught about “How to Grow Your Church.”  What I learned at that small church in Kilgore, Texas was everything that does not work. I bought every denomination plan; our people worked themselves to a frazzle and knocked on virtually every door in town and the results were minimal.  

Now I can hear some of my more fundamentalist brothers saying, “Well, you must have been doing it in the flesh.” Well in a sense they would be correct. We walked down the streets in the flesh and knocked on the doors in the flesh. We worked in the flesh until we were ready to drop. However, we also bathed everything in prayer and depended on the leadership and power of the Holy Spirit. I have never served with a more spiritually minded group of people. We prayed hard and we worked hard and the harvest, well let us just say it was valuable but disappointing. Now the fellow who followed me was able to grow the church. I am happy to have been one of those who God allowed to carry the watering can. 

From there I went to the First Baptist Church of Lomax and we did all the same things and the church grew;  from Lomax we went to Beaumont and the church grew; from Beaumont we went to Pasadena and the church grew. What was the difference. The major difference is what I learned in Kilgore about being a leader as well as a pastor and not just a promoter of denominational programs. I learned the value of a focused ministry informed by the truths of God's Word . . . . . the Bible. 

In each of those churches that grew the Lord taught me progressively how to be a better leader of His people in accomplishing His purposes for each particular church.  What follows are some of the things I learned and that God’s Spirit blessed and used to yield a harvest of souls.  

Now as you read these understand that a great deal of praying and reliance upon the Spirit of God was going on at the same time as we developed our action plans.  Preaching has to be both Biblical and practical and in the power of the Holy Spirit. That should go without saying and be true regardless of growth or no growth.

I began with two Biblical truths. The first was “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” I realized I had to gather people around me who shared the vision God had given me for His church. The second was, “Where there is no vision the people perish.” I realized it was my responsibility under God to articulate a vision for God’s people at each of those churches.  These two things are where good and effective leadership begin. In some cases this meant both blessed additions and blessed subtractions. 

Just because I was called by the church to serve as its pastor did not mean I was the Leader. It meant I filled the position and that is all. Leadership is earned. Fortunately most Baptist Churches will give you about six months to learn who the influence molders in the church are and to get them on board with the vision God has given you for the church.   My mom used to often say to me, “Son, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.”  

It is one thing to have the title of Leader and quiet another to actually be the Leader.  Being a Leader means doing something. It means building and maintaining a local church.  The following material is designed to help you create a foundation on which to succeed as the Leader of the church that has called you to be its pastor. 

Where to begin? By Meeting Your Church Members:  I believe that the very first thing any new Pastor should do is take some time and get to know your congregation . . . . both those who attend regularly and those who do not.  Even in our modern day of technological marvels, I’d still try and get in every home at least once socially. I would contact them by email, twitter, on Facebook by telephone and in person.  

 Develop a Mission Statement and Vision for Your Church:   I am of the opinion that the first thing that any Leader should do is develop and  become familiar with is a Church Mission Statement. A mission statement should define what the Church is at it’s core. It should be in words that people can understand but should not be a collection of Scripture passages. It should be a short statement of what this particular church sees as its mission. 

In my mind the missions statement should be something along the lines of . . . .  

The “ABC Baptist Church” exists to provide its members with an opportunity to develop and understand their spiritual gifts and how to utilize them in the Body of Christ;  to help them discover faith in Christ as Savior and Lord and ways they can grow in spiritual maturity;  influence people to worship and service the Lord; and to support the work of the Lord generally through their tithes, offerings and personal service’ and experience genuine worship. 

As a Leader this would become you “elevator speech” for explaining your Church. It should be short, accurate and to the point.  

Once you understand this mission statement the next step in  becoming a successful Leader is to develop a Vision for the Church. Again, like our Mission Statement our Vision Statement should be short and accurate because everything we do will flow out of this statement. 

My vision for the “XYZ Church” is be have a redeemed membership with every member involved in some kind of ministry and to bring glory to God by becoming the largest and most influential church in our area regarding membership, attendance and ministry.                                     

What Next?

Wonderful, now we have our mission statement and we have stated our vision for our Church. The next question that must be answered is, “How do I get from where we are as a Church to where our vision says we are going and do so consistent with our mission statement? 

If we are to fulfill our mission and realize our vision successfully we must  be proactive.  Every program, project, procedure, ministry, meeting and emphasis should be supportive of the Mission Statement and the Vision for the church.  Everything undertaken should be measured by these before it is inaugurated. When something ceases to support them then it should be discarded.

So, where do I begin? 

Define Success

 First define what success is in regard to your mission statement and vision statement. Our mission statement describes for us the elements of a successful Church meeting. The first thing we should do once we have a mission statement and a Vision for our local Church is to define  what constitutes a successful church that can be quantified, i.e. measured.   

As an example, I personally define a successful Church worship service as “a meeting at which I had an attendance equal to 40%¹ of my membership.²“  I chose this because it is (1) realistically achievable and (2) it can be quantified, I.E., measured. The truth is, unless I get members to attend the meetings then nothing else I do as a Leader really matters. 

Set Goals

Having defined a successful meeting as  40% of Church membership attending Church meetings it follows that a Successful Church is one that averages 40% of its membership at each meeting. That means that I set as an attendance goal for my Church at an average attendance of 40% of my members at each of my Church’s meetings. 

As the membership grows the meeting attendance numbers should also increase but the percentage of membership in attendance will remain fairly constant. This means that should my Church membership reach 100 then my meeting attendance goal is 40 people.³

Keep in mind that your average attendance will over time track your membership at an average of about 20% with minimal effort and at about 40% with maximum effort. What this tells us is that we must be continually adding new members to our Church if we are to maintain our attendance goals. 

This means that along with an attendance goal we also need to set a membership goal that parallels our attendance goal. You will achieve membership goals the same way you do attendance goals. You do it by developing a plan to increase average attendance and a plan to increase membership. What I am saying about developing a plan for achieving your attendance goal will also apply to your membership goal. 

Develop a Plan 

The question I then had to answer was, “what steps do I need to take to reach my  attendance goal?”  What follows are the steps needed to achieve your attendance goal:  

Recognize that to be successful the meeting must provide members with an incentive to attend.  The successful leader will “find members  needs and meet them.” In short, I would need to provide a program that meets the would be attendee’s needs – both perceived and real.  It is really a “find out which way they want to go and then run around to the front and lead them there.”  To do this, I suggest you focus on education and inspiration. 

•                    By education I mean that every Church meeting must provide at least one of the following⁴:

A. Education & Information. Each meeting needs to provide the congregant an opportunity to grow in their knowledge of the Word and purposes of God.  Make sure that you explain what it means to their lives; illustrate how it works in life; and apply it to their lives. Tell them what they can do with what they have learned and share how they can do it.            

B. Operational Information.  Be inspirational.  I mean inspire and encourage.  I mean keeping the meeting upbeat, positive and networking. Worship services and other meetings must be more than just be a venue for the dissemination of information; they must also meet that human need for collegiality and worship. Church is likened to a family in Scripture with good reason . . . . it is a family . . . . it is God’s family.  

Keep in mind that the members of your church spend much of their time working alone in a world that is not receptive of their Christian faith.  Every and anything we can do to encourage and inspire them will be well received.  Consequently I feel our meetings should always have a positive and affirming tone.  Member interaction should be facilitated and encouraged. Try and make your meetings enjoyable both spiritually and socially. 

Promote, Promote and then Promote Some More! 

One of the ways I do this is with a monthly newsletter.  This is important because it becomes a passive reminder.  A newsletter can consists of something as simple as an email or can be a fully developed newsletter.  The later is more time consuming but I believe more effective.  The more effort you put into the newsletter the more seriously it will be taken and appreciated.  Darrel Robinson once told me the reason the constantly mailed to everyone in the community was because one day each family will have a crisis and when they do I want them to think of First Baptist Church.

“Get ‘er done!”

Everything mentioned above can be spelled W-O-R-K.  If we are going to build successful local Church that meets the needs of its congregants, finds acceptance in its community, and honors the God we worship and serve we are going to have to work at it.  It will not just happen. 

The things mentioned above will go a long way in building a successful Church. However, I am not conceited or naïve enough to believe that everything I have suggested will work every time or for everyone.   I fully recognize that not all churches are created equal. Some have large memberships while others have few members; some are located in tight geographical areas while others cover vast areas; some Churches have many experienced members while others are mostly newbie’s.

Every church  presents its own particular challenges.What I do know is that doing nothing will produce just that, nothing.  You must be committed to success. So I encourage you to develop a plan and work the plan.  Whatever you do, do not abandon your plan prematurely --- give it plenty of time to take hold. As one comedian said, “I am a 25 year overnight success.”

If you are having trouble, learn all you can about building a successful organization; talk with other successful leaders about what they are doing that is working.

Disappointment is inevitable but you cannot allow yourself to become discouraged.  There will be meetings where the attendance is less than expected or even embarrassing low.  One of my greatest fears is calling a meeting and no one comes.  I even had one where that fear came pretty close to being reality.   However, the answer is not to become discouraged but analytical. Try to discover what went wrong.  Ask yourself, “Why didn’t they show up?” or “What could I have done that might have made for a better attendance?”  You might even ask church members themselves why they didn’t make the meeting. 

Focus on finding a solution not decrying the problem.  There are no problems only challenges and opportunities. I know it is cliché but I believe that you must see low attendance as a challenge and an opportunity and not a problem.  Perhaps the single most important element in making your church a successful church is the Leader’s (Pastor’s) attitude toward the challenges of being the Pastor of a Baptist Church.

Conclusion:

Each element mentioned above and some that have not been deserves a full discussion in its own right.  Maybe I will do that in the future.  For now I hope that I have shared some ideas that you can put to good use in making your church the best it can be.  Keep in mind that your church will always be a work in progress that will require some work to achieve its potential. If a church is not growing it is dying.

When God blesses our efforts and growth takes place our response should always be "not by might and not by power but by His Spirit."  "This is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous in our sight."  "Thank you Lord for allowing me to be here to witness your mighty work."

In every church where God blessed us with growth someone had come before me and planted and someone watered what had been planted and God allowed me to harvest the increase He provided. For that I am eternally thankful.

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¹ I based this percentage on what has been traditionally accepted as the average sustainable attendance at meetings of any volunteer organization.  This percentage can be increased for particular meetings but on average a 40% of membership in attendance is what the statistics indicate is sustainable in organizations dependent upon voluntary attendance of its membership.
² I selected a definition of success as a percentage of membership because any and all other goals I have for the Church are dependent upon a good attendance at Church meeting.
³ It is my personal opinion that there is an optimum size for Churches. In my view the optimum size for a Church is 500 members attending. When I Church membership becomes very large the percentage of members at Church meetings go down.
⁴ You need not do all of these at any one meeting but each meeting should contain at least one.

Is A Photo REALLY Worth A Thousand Words?

When you look at the picture at the left what do you see? Does it tell you anything? What conclusions can you draw from it? Do you know who is in the photo? Do you know what is taking place? Do you know where it is happening?  Do you know the occasion? What was he experiencing? Does it have anything to do with me?  Well, I do! And that explains the reason I have been asked by family to not only digitalize my photos but to electronically label and tell the story behind the photo.

I have been encouraged and so I have undertaken the process of digitalizing my photos that were taken before that advent of electronic cameras and smart phones. As I have undergone that process I have discovered the true meaning and purposes of my photos.

Some of my children look at a photo and say, "Dad, why in the world did you take that photo. It is just like a thousand others of a pretty valley." I usually answer with something like, "Well, at the time it was an awe inspiring view that I wanted to capture." However, that is not the whole truth.

The whole truth is that many of my photos were not taken just because they were "awe inspiring" but because they were going to serve as pegs upon which I was hanging my memories of a wonderful experience or of people I wanted to be sure and not forget.

 Napoleon Bonaparte is reported to have said, "A good sketch is better than a long speech." In more modern times I have been told countless times that,  "A picture is worth a thousand words."  I have heard all my life that "Seeing is believing" or "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

I don't disagree that a picture can deliver a more concise understanding of something or seeing it the event gives one a good understanding of something but I will not agree that it presents the best understanding or a more accurate picture of the event. As I said, the photograph works better as a peg on which hangs a precious memory than it does to portray the facts of that memory.

"Why, you ask?" The answer is, "Because only in rare instances will a picture do anything more than provide a "snap shot" in time and show a physical context from which we make assumptions." What can be said of photos can also be said regarding an eye witness account. (It has repeatedly been demonstrated that two people can see the same thing and describe what they saw very differently)

To borrow a quote from Christopher Pike, "Nothing is ever as it seems." You can learn a lot from a photo but you rarely will the photo tell the whole story. The same is true of an observers account. There are many reasons for this, camera angle, perspective and lighting can make a tall man look short or visa versa; make tires on a car look as if they are turning one way and a car traveling the other; and on a really bright day black can appear white.

As Paul Harvey, who would often describe part of an event and then after a commercial break comeback on air with the line, "And now, for the rest of the story."  I suggest that we always take the time to get "the rest of the story" before we form a conclusion.

It is not a matter of doubting a witnesses testimony or photographic evidence. It is a matter of getting the whole picture and that involves more than a "snap shot" in time that provides only a slice of the time of an event.  Then there are times when the snap shot does tell enough that we can get a pretty good idea of what the whole story is. But unless you were present and a part of the process that led to the photo it probably doesn't really tell you anything significant about the event.

I have loads of photos of speakers at a podium and the photo tells me nothing about anything that was said by that speaker. It may identify the event, it may give clues to the venue, it may give hints at the era it was taken and the number and kind of people attending but it tells me little about the speech. Now I may draw conclusions based on the information garnered from the picture but the picture cannot verify the accuracy of those conclusions. I need what Paul Harvey called, "The rest of the story." I need to hear verbally or in print from someone who was there.

In my photos I am the person who was there so I can provide a better understanding of the significance of my photos. By the way, that's why personal photos should always have some kind of written story even if it is just the names of the people or the place in it. I suggest names of people, date and place photo taken and significance in photographers mind of the photo. Something like: "This photo is important because it reminds me of . . . ."

For me the photo can tell us a lot that I will not go into at the moment. It is a starting place but unless I tell the "rest of the story" the picture will tell you something but not everything. So take the time and give a context to your important photos. And, to paraphrase another old expression, "Never judge a book by the photo on the cover" because the story lies between the covers.

The Annual Family Christmas Gathering

One of the great things about the Christmas season for me is the "Annual Family Christmas Gathering." I really don't think that the rest of my family understand how important this event is to me. I look forward to it on Christmas Day while everyone else is focused on gifts. For me there is nothing better than the annual Christmas Gathering . . . even if it is on the weekend before Christmas day. Oh, to be sure there are other important "get-to-gathers" (like the annual Father's Day Event at our place) along the way and each one is important to me. However, the gathering at Christmas is special to me.

It is special for a lot of reasons. It is special because as a Christian family we are able to celebrate the anniversary of the day human eyes first got sight of the "Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world."  To gather as a family group and realize that we are also a part of God's forever family because of what happened that first Christmas Day . . . . the birth of Jesus.

In addition to that it is the one day out of the year when we explicitly think about someone other than ourselves. Not only do with think about others we also give gifts to others. It is the one day out of the year when we make a special attempt to emulate our God by sharing gifts with our family and friends. Everyone loves to receive a gift and we all need to learn both to give and to receive gifts. Christmas is a time when that lesson is best and easiest to learn.

But what I like about Christmas Gatherings is having the entire family in one place at the same time. You see the Christmas gathering is more than just a bunch of related people. I used to wonder why the Bible had so many "begats" in it's pages. However, over time and with maturity I have come to see that those begats served a much needed purpose for the people of that time. They provided hooks upon which memories were hung; they provided continuity and connectivity for individuals; and they served to give us identity.

That's what Christmas gatherings do. . . . . especially the group photos. Most people know I take hundreds of photos at family, awe go ahead and say it, "all events," events. The most important and the hardest to get is the family group photo. If you take it too soon you miss late arrivals. If you wait too long someone gets left out. Timing is everything. But so is getting the group corralled. Every face must be seen by the camera; every face needs a smile, and: one someone has to do something goofy for the photo. When everything is just right the camera timer is activated and in 10 seconds the photographer joins the group and history is recorded.

"History" is recorded is an understatement. You see,  these events, as with the "Begats" in the Bible become a part of the story of who we are. I love seeing all the photos of family gathering, both past and present, that appear on friend's FB pages. It is so heart-warming to me to see that families still gather when they can as they did in years gone by.

We gaze at the "old family photos" looking at faces long since gone. We think of the many characters who have made up our families and how we miss them. For some reason the "black sheep" in our families seem to get an inordinate amount of conversation time.  Perhaps it is because they bucked the trends, broke the rules, or in some other ways lived their own lives. At any rate there is always someone present who recalls that particular Gathering and will say, "That's the year when . . . . " (you fill in the rest).

As we stare at the newest group photos we join a collective effort of trying to identify who is who. "Is that really so-n-so's little girl?" "She sure looks like aunt Mae." Then, someone else chimes in with, "Yeah, well lets hope she doesn't act like her." Another will say, "I sure miss grandma" and another, "Look how little Billy has grown." Life is being breathed into the gathering with each passing statement and continuing conversation.

We look at Christmases past and present and suddenly, whether we realize it or not, the "whole family is present one more time (those passed on, those present, and those yet to be born). For just a moment we are connected with our past and feel a renewed sense of the heritage that has been passed to us. At the same time, through the progressive development of our children we see hope for the future of that heritage. Hopefully we will see the importance of passing what we received from our ancestors on to our posterity.  We enjoying the moment and at the same time we are passing down family memories and traditions. All this while we are making memories for each other for Christmases to come.

Joyfully, with each new Christmas new faces appear but at the same time a few old faces are gone. This serves to remind me that I am a part of something bigger than the individuals who make it up. I am a part of a "Family." Part of a family that if it were possible would be traceable to that first created person, namely a man called Adam and his wife Eve. We have been repeating that creative act with every generation added to our earthly family. In some sense I really do know from whence I came, who I am and where I am going.

Years ago a pop singer, Sonny Bono wrote, " Love is the first thing and last thing on our minds. From tomorrow until the end of time. And the beat goes on, And the beat goes on, And the beat goes on, And the beat goes on." Individuals, as precious as they are to us, come and go but the family, which has a life of its own, and like the beat of a drum or as I prefer, the beat of our hearts go on.

As I think about it, Christians are God's family and just as I will forever be a part of my earthly family so shall I eternally be a part of God's family. I miss some folks each Christmas but as I have said many times before, "I never think of them in the past tense." They are not present but they are not gone. One day we shall all be gathered again and celebrate Jesus as we gather around the throne of our Heavenly Father.

Yep, Christmas gatherings and the obligatory gathering photos are an occasion when something spiritual takes place. All those who have come before us and all those who will follow us are gathered here with us. For me it is a little bit of heaven on earth. I pray that the heartbeat of my family goes on and the gatherings continue until Jesus comes. (BTW - I believe genetics will support this as being literally the csse as well as my contention it is a spiritual moment.)

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I sometimes think, no I believe it completely, that only persons who have loved someone deeply and/or been loved deeply can really appreciate what I am trying to say. The truth is some of the missing faces cause us a great deal of inward pain as our hearts ache one more time to just touch their hand or hold them in an extended embrace where hearts can once more beat as one. Family provides me a place where I can say with confidence, "This is where I belong until my heart is again joined as one." After all did not Jesus say, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. Now there is a thought we could explore.

Reflecting on My Fiftieth High School Reunion

I am sad . . . so very sad.  With the end of my Fiftieth High School Reunion my Brigadoon has once again vanished into the morning mist and I am left wondering if I shall see her once again reappear in the evening mist of some future date. I can only hope.

I have spent a good amount of time and thought just trying to figure out why I absolutely love my High School Reunions. One reason it is so hard to explain is because historically I have not been a big reunion attendee.  In fact, I didn't attend a single reunion until I had been out of high school for 25 years, married for almost 24 years and had four children. I suppose the main reason was that it just never occurred to me that we actually had reunions to attend in the first place.

You see I don't recall ever knowing that the Pasadena High School Class of 1965 even had reunions. I never received a phone call, don't remember any post cards or recall anyone I knew mentioning it to me. Now that is not to say efforts were not made . . . I am sure they were. It simply means I did not know we were having reunions.  Besides I was busy working and going to school. During those first 25 years I was focused on making a place for myself as a husband, a father and in Baptist life as a Baptist Minister.

Then it happened. Someone found my address and mailed an invitation that found its way to my mailbox. I read it, showed it to my wife Susan and then put it on my desk in my home office. I don't recall when that invitation arrived but I know I picked it up just about every day and reread it and then replaced it on the desk. For some inexplicable reason I just could file thirteen it. Sometime during my pick it up...put down and pick up again period, Susan knowing said, "Why don't you just go ahead and register  . . . . you know you want to go and besides I think it might be a good opportunity to just get away for a while." Every time we discussed it I had a reason why I didn't want to go. I used all the excuses I talked about in another piece I wrote a few years ago.  Truth be told, she was right. I did want to come and we did need to get away for a while. So, I wrote the check, filled out the form placed them both in an envelope and dropped my reservation in the mail.

So, on the appointed day we drove to Pasadena, dropped the children of at Grandma's house and headed out to the Houstonian. We arrived at the hotel, checked into our room and made our way to the Reunion registration table. There I was greeted by a bunch of people I recognized as my High School classmates but as my Aussie friends might say, "were note really my 'Mates,'" i.e. best friends. I remember being nervous and thinking. "No one would know who I am." However,  if the didn't they sure did a good job making me think they did. Unfortunately for me none, not one of the guys I used to hang out with were there. We had a great time but when it was all said and done I sort of filed it away in the "Been there, done that and bought the T-Shirt" category.

It would be another 20 years before I attended another Reunion of my High School graduating class. This time it was different. This time I was looking for them. For some reason, maybe social media, I was beginning to reconnect with people with whom I had gone to high school. For me however, Social Media was not enough.  At any rate, somehow through that interaction it was decided that we would have a 45th Reunion. I think the people who had usually taken the lead in this were a bit weary of the task but none-the-less somewhere along the way someone "pulled the trigger" and we began the planning. That was really the beginning of the reunion for me. The planning meetings were like mini reunions.

I'll skip the meetings, conversations, planning, calling, and promoting but we had the reunion and I have to tell you the twenty years between my reunions changed the way I saw my High School Reunion. What before had been disappointing was now essential. My classmates many may not have needed me to be there but I needed them to be there. Something inside of me that needed them.

One of the most disappointing things in my life is that I lost contact with the guy I spent most of my Junior High and High School years "hanging with." I don't think there is anywhere in Pasadena that we didn't go and not much we didn't get into. I haven't seen or spoken with him since he dropped out of school our last semester and as I have been told, join the Navy. I suppose that was one of the things that drove me back to our reunions . . . . the off chance that he might show up at one. Alas, it was not to happen but in the process I came to feel bonded with a lot of wonderful people.

I need to say that we may not measure up to the Greatest Generation as Tom Brokaw has defined it but I believe the members of the Greatest Generation, our parents, would see a lot of what made them who they were in us. Oh, I don't mean us as in the Boomer generation. I mean us as the members of the Pasadena High School class 1965. I came to this conclusion at my 50th. high school reunion. As I listened to my classmates' stories I was literally blown away by what some have accomplished; I am humbled by what others have endured; I am impressed by the personal growth and maturity most had achieved; and as a Minister I was especially pleased to discover the overall spirituality we had reached.

No, I am not living in a "make believe" world and I don't think I represent some kind of "old age" induced Utopianism. First, more members of the class of 1965 have not attended a reunion than have. I am also aware that individually many of us have done some really "dumb" things. I also know that the only reason we laugh at some of the things we did is because we actually survived them. I know that every life represented in our class has had its share, and in some cases more than its share, of trauma, heartache and pain. But we have also had more than our share of good experiences . . . far more than we deserved.

Because I see many of you regularly on Social Media I know that we are not bound together by our politics. In fact I sometimes worry that one or two of our class is about to run off in to a political ditch and I'm pretty sure a couple already have. No, it isn't our politics or our accomplishments or our failures or even our personality types that have bound this class together. It is something much stronger and much deeper. It is something strong enough and deep enough so that had some one who had not attended a single reunion could have walked in and they would have been embraced as though they had attended every single reunion.

I am still trying to understand what it is that that binds me to this group of people. I know so many things that it is not. Many of those things it is not enhance the tie that binds but don't secure it. However, I think I am on the verge of understanding it. My Dad and I could sit in a room together not say much and when one or the other had to leave we would say something like, "I have really enjoyed our time together." Clearly it was not enjoyed because of the words that we spoke . . . we just didn't speak many. It was simply the fact that he was "with me." 

The weekend prior to my 50th high school reunion I participated in what was my First Cousin's Reunion. All of my first cousins gathered at the Drury in San Antonio. For the first time since childhood we were all present in the same place at the same time. Our ages ranged from mid 60's to early eighties and each represented all sorts of life experiences.  Some of us had not been together in more than 30 years but when we met in the lobby of that hotel we took up right where we had left off all those many years ago. It was as if no time had passed between then and now.

What we cousins concluded as we met and shared (I likened many of our sessions together as an IPR Group) is that what bound us together was our shared heritage and common values. In short, as my Mom would often say, "Blood is thicker than water. Our lives as cousins had taken a wide variety of pathways filled with all sorts of unique to each one experiences. I thought as I sat at the table and looked into faces that reflect a life long journey, "We are each one so different and yet the same; we have all dreamed our dreams, achieved many of our life goals, and as Paul would have said are nearing the end of our race but none of that binds us. As I drove out of the parking garage I thought to myself, "Lord, I love those people!"

I overheard a conversation in the hospitality room during that 50th. year reunion in which someone said, "It is so amazing, it as if we had never been apart." Indeed it did seem that way.

As drove away from the South Shore Harbor Resort and reflected on what I had just experienced and I thought to myself, "Lord I love these people!"  I really do. Now some bright psychologist or skilled psychoanalyst  might be able to delve into that and dredge up something buried in my psyche. But I think I'll just say, "We are family and I love the members of the PHS Class of 1965." You can make of it what you will but I think I am drawn to you because we are Family and as family we share a common heritage and value system.

I could say a lot about that but I think it is pretty well said in that last phrase. The whys and wherefores don't really matter . . . . they don't matter because we are family.I think I understand why I feel drawn to the members of the PHS Class of 1965. It is summed up in the words of from the song "We Are Family." . . . . . "Ev'ryone can see we're together as we walk on by and we fly just like birds of a feather. I won't tell no lie, all of the people around us they say, "Can they be that close." Just let me state for the record, "We're giving love in a family dose."  Yep that's it . . . . in our own unique way as a part of the PHS Class of 1965 WE ARE FAMILY!

If you are a member of the PHS Class of 1965 and want to see photos you'll have to go to the class Facebook Page.