Germs Can be Sneaky

I just had to take a moment to welcome my newest grandson into my world. Bryce Bailey, my youngest daughters second son joined the rest of us yesterday with all the fanfare that such an event warrants. It was a happy day all the way around since both baby and mom are doing just fine.

However, his arrival was also the occasion for one of those nutty things that seem to happen only in a hospital setting. You know, a goofy rule that sucks the joy out of a wonderful experience. The world is full of these kinds of things but on this day this rule just seemed bigger than it really was . . . or was it.

First, unlike the day in which my children were born, it seems that virtually the whole family is invited o be present. I elected to step out. However, Dad and a couple of grandmothers were there when he arrived not to mention the doctor and nurses.  Within minutes of his birth, even before he had his first bath, there I was holding him in my arms. More to the point we were passing him around like he was a greeting card to be read by everyone present.

Within a few hours our daughter and new grandson were moved to a private room where we all gathered again to celebrate. Seems we just couldn't get enough of "baby Bryce." 

It was then  that the insanity of a hospital setting kicked in. Now understand that people from the age of 3 years to my age, let' just say "and older" had looked at, touched and yes even kissed on Baby Bryce. All of this was well within the rules set forth by the hospital for such things.  Then, one of our other grandchildren arrived and we were told that not only could she not see "Baby Bryce" but by coming through the doors she was in violation of some hospital rule that required non-family children to be at least 13 years old before they could visit in the room.

That would have been fine except instead of just stopping there the following explanation was given. "The reason for this rule is to reduce the risk of contamination for the new baby."  A rule that is not based in some sort of valid reasoning is bad enough but do they really believe what they are saying when they say it is to control contamination.

First, keep in  mind that the following people are allowed in the room and to handle the new born child: Immediate family members of all ages 1 year and up; family, friends and acquaintances ages 13 years and older; and hospital staff. People from all these groups had, as I have mentioned earlier had, already handled and kissed on this child.  But now, when a cousin who is ten years old arrives she is told she not only cannot touch but cannot see her newest cousin because she might contaminate the room.

The only conclusion I can draw from this line of reasoning is: germs, viruses, and bacteria are unusually discriminating. They only attach themselves to children 10 years of age and under who are not a brother or sister to the new baby. All of these other people going in and out of the room, holding and passing around the baby, not to mention kissing on him, are either germ free or the germs are incapable of leaping from them to the infant in question. Hence we must bar this  potentially contaminated group of people from celebrating with the rest of their family and friends the newest member of their family.

Of course more important than the insanity of the reasoning used by the hospital when setting down this rule (there may be some other reason for having such a rule I just can't think of one) and that it how it affects the kid that is excluded. No one like to be told they aren't allowed when everyone else seems to get a pass. I have to tell you that had my more even tempered wife not been there we would have been having a philosophical discussion about that rule and more than likely I'd been sitting in the waiting room with the 10 and under crowd.

I know that in the grand scheme of things it is not a particularly major thing but it seemed important at the time. Now what has this to do with anything . . . well probably nothing. It's just another one of the idiotic rules that non-thinking people in authority lay down to control the rest of us. Besides that it annoyed me.

BTW - As I left the hospital someone had placed a large A-frame sign in the main entry that informed me that children 16 and under were not permitted in patient rooms to help prevent the spread of the flu virus . . . I hope it works.

What do you think . . . am I over reacting?

What Others Think of You, Does it Really Matter?

I going to get a little cerebral on you today. You see, lately I have been giving a lot of thought to the question, “Does it really matter what other people think about you?”

On some level I suspect we all believe that it does We may wish that it didn't but alas we fear that at some level it really does matter. Over the years I have attended multiple seminars and workshops on leadership and other related subjects and invariably they have been torn between, “Yes it does matter what others think” and “You’ll never be a great leader if what others think about you is important to you.”  Essentially they end up saying, “You should just stop caring about what others think of you, or stop paying attention to other people’s opinions about you.”

Now I am going to go out on a limb here and say that what others think of you only matters if you allow it to negatively dominate your life and the way you live. Be careful here, I am not saying you should not be aware of other people’s feeling and thinking about you. Others people's feelings and thinking about you can be a great barometer for self evaluation. Just don’t give it more importance than it deserves and always consider the source.

Now having said that, if you are getting a lot of negative feedback from the people around you; when people seem to always be upset with what you say; how you say it; what you do; or how you do it; when those closest to you are seem to always be hurt and offended by your words and actions it is time to do some serious self-evaluation. It is time to start asking the question, “What is there about my attitudes, actions and/or speech that educes so many people to give us negative feedback?”  We really do need to hear what the people around us are saying. Why, because it will enable us to actually determine whether the problem lies within us and is drawing such negative reactions from people or is it from without and just causing us to feel badly.  

Keep in mind I am not talking about the occasional negative feedback. I am talking about a continuous thing that can be expressed by, "Why do people never seem to understand me," or "Why is it people always seem upset with me?" No one will be on great terms with everyone all the time. However, when we seem to always get a negative response it may be time to ask the all important question, "Why?"

Truth is it is easy to blame others. “I am the way I am because  . . . . and, you can name it. Someone or something else is always responsible for our being the way we are. We rarely take responsibility for being the way we are and we rarely try to discover why others have such a negative response to us. We just blame other people and our circumstances and never discover what lies behind all the negative feedback we are receiving.

Negative feedback virtually always causes us some level of emotional pain. And, when we are emotionally hurt by the words or actions of other people we seem to always engage in at least some period of feeling sorry for ourselves. We are the “good guy” and they are the “bad” guys. In short, we often find it easier to live in denial and just say, “They don’t understand me.” The answer is not denial but rather lies in becoming authentic. We simply must seriously consider that the negative response people are having toward us might actually be the appropriate reaction to how we are conducting our lives. They might really represent the authentic us.

Now having said all that we still have not really answered the question, “Does what others think of us really matter?” The answer is,”Only if it allows us to become are authentic self.” The philosopher is correct when he says we must start with, “Know thy self” and “To thine own self be true.”  The answer, yes but only if we use it to discover our own true self.

There is no getting away from this truth:  Our minds seem always to reject responsibility for the negativity directed at us. I recently read what I think is a profound thought that holds that external reality is always a reflection of the mind. That is, “Creation always happens from the inside out and not visa a versa.

I believe it was Jesus who said it is not what goes into a man that defiles him but what comes out of him. In short, regardless of what people think of us our real issues are internal not external. I am who I purpose to be. Your “personal” reality is your responsibility. Others just reflect back to you what that reality is.

So what to do? Well, you have choices here. You can continue to act and speak in ways that cause people to have a negative reaction to you and pretend the whole word is out of whack. You can decide to take a cognitive approach and argue with them that you are a victim of misunderstanding. That is, people don’t know the real you. To really know you is to love you. Problem, how can they really know you if your words and deeds are inconsistent with the authentic you. These are to always live a life of reaction instead of action.

The other choice, a little harder but much more rewarding, is to change the way you view the world. If we give off “bad vibrations” it is because we have a negative view of our world. Somehow we have to change our way of thinking. Biblically, Philippians 1:8 gives us some insight into how to do this when it says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” What requires initial effort will become habit and habit will eventually become lifestyle over time.
This is easy to put down in sentences and paragraphs but it is hard to do in life because we have already spent a lifetime getting where we are. Change is hard but its rewards are great. It means learning to weigh our words knowing that “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” It is one of the reasons I have suggested for more than 40 years that folks take the advice given to me by A.O. Collins and read a chapter of Proverbs and a Psalm every day for the rest of their days. This all by itself will go a long way in enabling you to produce what the Beach boys called “good, good vibrations.”

In short, stop seeing everyone and everything in a negative light. The world is not out to get you. The world, for the most part doesn’t even know you exist let alone have any particular feeling toward you. People are not spending all their time thinking or talking about you. They have their own lives to live.
If you want love in your life start speaking and acting in loving ways. If you want peace then don’t say and do things that create conflict. If you want joy, be joyful. As Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that has friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” There is a key to having loyal friends or making friends in the first place. You have to show yourself friendly.

I am convinced that you must not try and escape your reality. It is in fact what it is. However, you can both learn from it and change it. Now I must tell you that I am a cognitive behaviorist at heart. That means we must know, understand and act. Once you know how you are and what you want to become then you make choices about how to get there and then you act. As Paul Overstreet wrote in one of his songs, Daddy’s come around to Momma’s way of thinking.”

So does it matter what others think of you? Only if it helps you discover who you are now and what you need to become the person you want to be.

The Carrot and The Stick

I recently saw a commercial on television in which a fellow was being recognized for something he had done within his company. All his fellow employees were gathered as were his supervisors and bosses. Even the company CEO was there for the recognition. After a lot of flowery and I am sure well chosen words of praise the employee was given a "certificate." His response. Was to say, "A certificate! A Certificate!! A CERTIFICATE!!!"  He then proceeded to kick over the trash can, knocked down a lamp, break a flower vase and generally pitch a fit all the while repeating the words, "a Certificate." Clearly he was not motivated in a positive way by the certificate.

When I was in college I was a Christianity and Philosophy major. However, I thought then and still think now that a few courses from the school of business are important. In one of those classes I learned what I have come today to know as the Law of Motivation 2.0 or more commonly known as the "law of carrots and sticks."  (For a full discussion of this I recommend Daniel Pink's book Drive.)

Basically this law of motivation says that people do their best work if they are appropriately rewarded . . . hence the carrot. The negative side of this rule holds that people will not do their worst work if we are penalized . . . hence the stick. Consequently our employers and even we ourselves have tried to motivate us to perform and achieve desired goals by either rewarding our good stuff and penalizing our bad stuff.  Generally the reward has been in the form of some sort of monetary compensation, i.e., the promise of a raise or bonus etc. and the penalization the withholding of the same.

However, as I have surveyed my own life I have discovered that the "carrot and stick" approach has never really worked for me. To be sure, during my working days, I had to pay attention to the carrot. Like everyone else I had to pay the bills. However, having said that I can truthfully say that money has never been a major motivator in my life. 

I do appreciate all the salaries, raises, bonuses etc I have received over the years. Everyone, including myself, wants to be fairly compensated for their time and work. Truth is, none of us would continue on a job where our compensation did not meet our basic life needs. If the compensation level is too low we become dissatisfied and our performance levels drop.

For me it was always something more than the carrot that motivated me. Often it was the challenge of the task. I needed a task commiserate with my interests; that challenged my abilities; that facilitated my desire to grow personally and professionally; and that provided a sense of achievement and satisfaction.

It is absolutely true that I was always happier and did my best work when I did not have to worry about "paying the bills."  However it is equally true that I was happiest, more productive and more creative when I was given the freedom to focus on creatively taking on a task.  In fact, some of my very best work has been produced free. You see, my reward for any task well performed is the sense of self-satisfaction I receive. They money is nice but the satisfaction of a job well done is better.

What I discovered is that I am little motivated by external stimulus. For me, motivation comes from within. Over the years I've had this discussion with Human Resource people and to a man they just can't get past the notion that we must be externally incentivize (the carrot and he stick) if we are to achieve. I, on the other hand, contend that to get the very best we can do we must be internally incentivize. 

So, for me at least, here is the deal. Pay me a living wage and then stress the autonomy I will have in my tasks; the challenge to master new skills along the way; and the opportunity to do something that has purpose and really matters.  If there has to be a reward make it unexpected and not a contingency reward. Allow me to focus on the task not the carrot. Truth be told the reward if offered could even be of a non-tangible nature such as an sincere  "attaboy." 

Would I turn down a fiduciary reward? Probably not. Would such a reward induce me to work harder or better on the next task? Probably not. Would I feel indebted to hose giving the reward? Again, probably not. I would be appreciative. You see for me, the reward has always been in the "job well done."

What gets your juices going?

The Inmates ARE Running The Asylum!

I don't normally chime in on politically charged issues on this page. I like to keep it light, informative and just plain fun. However, recently I saw where two Mayor's on "Official" city letterheads took on a highly successful, ethically impeccable, and extraordinarily clean and courteous business that produces some of the best fast food chicken in the world because of the religious views of its owner.


Now I am not here to talk about the issue on which they spoke out, i.e., "Gay Marriage." In my view they are entitled to hold whatever opinion they want and to express that opinion.  You should also NOT try and draw any conclusions as to my own views on that issue from anything I write here. 


Here's the deal, the owner and founder of Chick-fi-la is a devout conservative Christian holding very traditional and orthodox Christian beliefs. When he started his business he decided that it would be a grand experiment. He would run his business base on good sound business principles and (this is important) as long as they do not violate his conservative Christian convictions.  He did this and he did it successfully and in this regard more people should follow his example.


Now, many years later his business is thriving and his convictions are still in place. Because of this he is interviewed and asked about the role of his Christian convictions in his business and he opening and honestly answers each and every question. Then, during the course of the interview he is asked his view on "Gay Marriage" and he just as openly and honestly answers the question as he has every other question he has been asked. So far, so good . . .not a problem.  You need to read what he actually said to get the context. That's something apparently neither the mayor of Chicago or Boston has done . . . but then they are politicians and might not know the meaning of information it it true context.


Let's see what he did not say. He did not say that Chick-fi-la would not hire someone who is in a gay marriage, he did not say he would not serve someone who was in a gay marriage. Fundamentally what he said was that he did not believe that Gay marriage was legitimate under the principles laid down in the Bible. His view is that True marriage (some would say traditional) marriage is between one man and one woman. He is not commenting on "Gays" in particular, in polygamy, serial marriages, living together without benefit of marriage or any other of issue on which I am certain he has equally strong views. 


You may feel that what he believes about these and any other issues you want to take up are important and maybe they are. But, for me, the issue is not what he believes but what these Mayors did. In their effort to be supportive to the Gay community which is within their rights they did something more egregious and dangerous. They did not express a personal view of support nor did they express their personal objection to his viewpoint. They did not just say "I for one" (individual) will not patronize his business and urge all you who agree with me to do the same.  No they engaged in what is essentially official oppression.


How you ask? Here's how . . . when they reached down and picked up the official letterhead of the city of which they are Mayor, wrote their views upon it, signed their name to it as Mayor of the city, and released it to the press the were guilty of Official Oppression. They are entitled to their opinions but they are not entitled to use their office in that kind of way. Today it is Chick-fi-la, who will it be tomorrow?   I believe the City Councils of both cities should reprimand them both . . . not for their views but for the way the chose to use their office . . . they used it as a means of official oppression of a lawfully established business.


We cannot tolerate official oppression at any level of government. The government is there to serve ALL the people and not just the people with whom the Mayor agrees. As an officer of government they may certainly express personal views. They cannot, however, be allowed to do so in their official capacity.


There are a lot of reasons for objecting to these Mayors or any other government officials injecting themselves "officially" in any of these kinds of things.


Martin Niemöller spoke for me and thousands of men like me when he said that, when the Nazis attacked the Communists, he was a little uneasy, but, after all, he was not a Communist, and so he did nothing; and then they attacked the Socialists, and he was a little uneasier, but, still, he was not a Socialist, and he did nothing; and then the schools, the press, the Jews, and so on, and he was always uneasier, but still he did nothing. And then they attacked the Church, and he was a Churchman, and he did something--but then it was too late.


I do not want the government singling out one company or individual for attack. If there needs to be a policy then let the appropriate governmental body develop one. If there needs to be a law then let the appropriate government legislative body enact one. Let it be done in the "people's houses" (legislative bodies) after appropriate debate and discussion . . . . Not Mein Führer issuing and edict. This is the big issue here and a slippery slope we do not want to go down!


It is fine for non-governmental  groups to oppose or support Chick-fil-a or any other business whose business model they do or do not like. It is not ok for Government officials to do so.

It is my experience that most of us can find a way to work it out. Truth is most of us are "a little bit country and a little bit rock-n-roll." That is, we want to live our lives somewhere in the middle. We do not want extremes to rule the concourse of our lives. And yes, I am aware that might mean that extreme in my mind might be a little to the left or right of where I am on an issue. But that's what makes for the debate isn't it  . . . and debate is a good thing.

Here is my answer to the mayors and everyone else: If you are pro "Gay marriage"  and don't like Truett Cathy's views . . . don't eat at Chick-fi-la . . . don't support them by patronizing them. If you are not pro "Gay marriage" and agree with Truett Cathy . . . then support them by eating there. If you don't care one way or the other what Truett Cathy thinks do what you want. As Shakespeare might say, "To eat or not to eat, that is the question."  You make the call based on your appetite, your convictions or any other reason you choose. I'll do the same.

Happy Birthday America!

This week we will be celebrating the 4th. of July or as I prefer to call it, Independence Day! Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays and one that I believe every American regardless of station of life ought to be able to enjoy.  I love John Adams' original idea of how to celebrate the occassion. After the Declaration of Independence was signed He said that every year thereafter people around the United States would celebrate the occassion with parades, fireworks, music, toasts, speeches, etc . . .  and so we should and so we have.

Now in 1776 while there were a few small celebrations the event was largely just another day in the life of the people of the new country. A war was still raging and that took center stage at the time. However, in 1777 an eleaborate celebration was staged that contained many of the elements included in today's celebrations. There it was, Adams' picnics, fireworks, fun & games, cannons being fired and speeches being made as a nation celebrated it birthday. Let's celebrate and not castigate!

I know I will be continuing that tradition albeit celebrating by means of modern technology in patriotic events being held all across the country.  In every case there will be as Adams predicted, "fireworks, music, toasts, speeches" and everything will be decorated  in red, white and blue and a large dose of capitalism as venders hawk their goods. But my focus will be on celebrating the nation's birth and the concept of "We the People of the United States" and the establishing of "A more perfect Union."

I hope that every American and friend of America will celebrate the day for what it really is: the anniversary of our  declaration of our independence as a nation and our intention of forming a  "more perfect union". . . a distinctively American Republic with a governement, as Lincoln would express it, "of the people, by the people, for the people."

May we take this day to recommit ourselves to see to it that this governemnt does "not perish from the earth" and remains committed to the proposition that "all men are created equal by their creator." Franklin's challenge when he said in answer to a question by a Mrs Powel, "A Republic, if you can keep it” still applies today.

The Fourth of July . . . Independence Day . . . should be a day of national unity. It should be the one day out of the year where we put aside our religious and political differences; cast aside our economic and cultural distinctions; and abstian from vitriolic speech. I hope that the media, both national and local will join in the celebration and refuse to carry or broadcaste anything that doesn't exhault America. Let them show us the national celebrations as they take place in the smallest of hamlets to the greatest of cities.  Let them show us at our best. They can go back to the other on July 5th.

Let's make it the one day of the year when we stand up and say with heart felt pride, "I am proud to be an American," and to paraphrase Lee Greenwood, I will gladly stand up, next to you and extol her on this one day. Make no mistake about it, I love this land we call the USA.  May she continue to enjoy God's blessing.

So it is that I invite both the rich and poor, the famous and obscure, the conservative and liberal, the learned and unlearned, the powerful and the weak, the healthy and the infirm, . . .  I invite us one and all to stand together and Pledge our Allegience to our flag, sing our national anthem and say as with one voice, "I am proud to be an American!"

Father's Day is a Coming . . . So What's It To You?

Father's Day is this coming Sunday.  I want to thank all you dad's out there who do so much to make your children's lives richer. Don't let anyone or anything minimize your role as a Dad. You may well be the single most important person in your child's life. This will be true whether your children are small or grown.  They will feel your influence in their life as long as they live and long after you are gone. You may not really be a Superman but in their eyes, if you do it right, you'll always be the super man in their life.

Father's Day is significant to me on a number of levels.  When I was a kid it was just another day second to just about every other "special" day on the calendar. It certainly played second fiddle to Mother's Day.  However, as both myself and my children have grown older the day has become more important to me than when I was a child.

First, Father's Day reminds me that I am a father, albeit one whose children are grown. I often reflect back over my years of parenting wonder if I was the best dad I could have been. I have long since concluded that the answer to that is "probably not."  Oh, I think I did the best I knew how and as the number of children grew so did my "dad" skills. I really need to apologize to my oldest children. In many ways they were a part of my learning curve.  When they were born they were sent home with us and no one gave us an instruction book . . . we had to learn on the fly.  However, as I reflect on my children I can say without reservation I am very happy and proud of the adults they have become. So I may not been the best dad but I did the best I knew how and I was as a preacher friend of mine often said, "adequate."

For me Father's Day is a day of  both Thankfulness and Sadness. I am thankful for my own father. He was the most patient man I ever knew. From my earliest years I was always welcome in his work space. He never gave me many principles of life to learn. Instead, he went one better. He allowed me to watch him as he lived out his own principles.  Most if not all the commendable qualities I have I learned by just being with him as he went about the business of living life. To be sure he had his flaws but his nature and character just made the flaws seem insignificant. It's hard to believe that this Sunday he will have been gone for 29 years and yet I still learn from him.

Perhaps the reason Father's Day evokes memories of my father that are so poignant to me is that it was on June 19, 1983 that he died. I was saddened all the more because in was also Father's Day. While I took solace in the fact that he was that day spending Father's Day with his father and his Heavenly Father I still wished he was spending with me. I have wished that every year since. As I said in a previous posting . . . he was in every way my hero.

I was 36 years old, just a year older than he was when I was born, when he died.  In those 36 years he never had much in the way of material things to give me. Oh he did the best he could and often better than he should to give me what I needed but those material things were not the real gifts. He gave me something far more valuable . . . he gave me as much of himself as he could and far more than I ever realized. The older I get the more of him I see in myself. Today there is just a whole lot of him in me.  

In my 65 years I have met many men who were giants among men. Some have been men of power and others men of wealth; some men of great intellectual prowness and others with unrivaled talents; some were great benefactors while others were strong leaders . . . but I have never met a man more significant to my life that the man I call Dad.  He really did show me how to live and how to die.  I remember saying just that in my prayer at his graveside as I thanked God for this man I called "Daddy."  I said then and believe now that "in living his life he taught me how to live and in his experience of death he showed me how to die." I believed that then and I believe it now.

I don't particularly have any words of wisdom to impart about Father's Day itself nor do I have any list of principles that if followed will make you a great dad. I would just encourage every dad to not just give your children things. And don't just give them the things they want. Give them what they need . . . a Dad. Give them as much of yourself as you can. Believe me, there will come a day when both you and they will be glad you did.

So to all you Dad's out there I say . . . HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

My Memorial Day Hero . . . My Dad!



Mom and Dad: Their Wedding Day

 Today my mind has turned to the holiday we are celebrating . . . Memorial Day.  I was reminded by a relative that "Soldiers don't start wars; Politicians start wars...Our soldiers just do their part to protect the rest of us."  I don't know whether or not this statement is totally accurate but I do know that Soldiers don't start wars but when wars begin it is the soldier who protects the rest of us. For that I am grateful beyond words to express it. I am grateful to the soldiers who have stood ready to defend this nation through years of peace and for those who faced-down our enemies in time of war. From the men who wore the Continental Blue of the citizen soldiers in Washington's army to those now wearing the camouflage of today's military I am grateful.

On a personal level I could mention Samuel Appleby and his service in George Washington's Continental Army, or Robert Appleby who fought in the war of 1812. I might mention Robert Key who died in Natal, Brazil during WWII or perhaps Bob Appleby who laid down his life in Korea. Then there is Charley who died aboard the Kitty Hawk during the Vietnam War.  So many in our family have served with distinction.    However, when I think of soldiers I always think of my own father.

As a child I used to play with his medals and campaign ribbons. I didn't know or appreciate what they represented then like I do now. Then they were just another plaything for me. Today they serve to remind me of just how much of a hero my dad was.

My father was, I believe, typical of most of the men who became soldiers in his day (1942-45). He was not a career soldier . . . he was a farmer/mechanic born and raised in central Texas. But, the nation called and off to Fort Sam Houston he went where he became a part of the United States Army Air Force.

After a brief basic training and some advanced training in B-17's it was off to England by way of Iceland. He arrived in England and was assigned to the IX Army Air Force where he served as a crew chief  for the 52nd Wing's 315 Troop Carrier Group's 34 Squadron. Make no mistake about it . . . this was not a transport outfit . . . . it was a combat squadron!  These men flew un-armed and un-armored aircraft at slow speeds and low altitudes into heavely occuppied areas under heavy enemy fire.

During his 13 Campaigns he saw it all. He dropped paratroopers early on the morning of D-Day (the Normandy Invasion) and for a week during the famous Market Garden (A Bridge Too Far) receiving the Air Medal for his involvement. He supplied Patton's 3rd army and flew out wounded soldiers. I recall his only comment about these young men was as he shook his head, "They were just boys." He truly knew and appreciated the cost of war. He was 29 years old when he entered the service and most of the men he carried into battle and brought out again were under 20 years of age . . . . mere boys in his eyes. When the war ended he flew liberated prisoners of war back to England.

Dad never said much about the war. I recall on one occassion asking him about his war experience that he replied, "I have already had to live that war once and I don't feel like reliving it today." Then he would tell me about some funny non-combat war experience with a few of his friends and I'd catch a glimse in his eye that he was now a time-traveler in his own past. I was to learn more about his wartime experiences after his death when I attended one of his outfit's reunions. It has been through my contact with the men with whom he served that I learned just how much of a hero he truly was.

When the war ended and his services were no longer needed he went home and took up where he left off . . . . he opened a small mechanics shop and life went on. I don't think anyone ever said, "Thank you for your service" to him . . . . but then he never expected it. After all, in his mind he was "just doing what had to be done."

Dad has been gone since 1983 and he is still my soldier hero. Today, I say, "Thank you for your service."