Ron Asbury: Another Giant in My Life Has Gone Home

Golf Tournament - Gulf Shores, AL

Another friend who has played a significant part in the weavings of the tapestry of my life has entered into his rest. My colleague, one of my favorite golf partners, my friend and brother in Christ went to be with the Lord. I know that our ages it was unlikely that either of us would see the other again in this life but we both knew there will come a time when we shall be reunited in God’s Paradise. 

I first met Ron Asbury when in 1982 I became the pastor of the Woodland Baptist Church in Beaumont, Texas. Ron had already been at the church as Minister of Music for about a year or so and was well into developing a powerful music ministry. Over the years Ron and I played a lot of golf together. In fact for one two-year period, we played just about every Friday afternoon having a standing tee time at the Bayou Din Golf Club. Not to mention being partners in annual church tournaments. We played every course in Beaumont and a few in Houston. 

Ron always seemed to have a few cigars with him when we played golf. I didn’t smoke and we always shared a cart. He’d frequently light one up and offer me one knowing I didn’t smoke saying to me, “You know smoking won’t send you to hell.” Then one day I responded with, “No, smoking a cigar will not send anyone to hell . . . it will just make them smell like they’ve been there.”  He almost wrecked the cart laughing.

But as well as we were teamed for golf, we were a better team in ministry. I don’t recall either of us stepping on the other. Through motivation and manipulation, yes, I said manipulation, Ron was building a music program that was second to none other in our city. I remember he and I talking about motivation and manipulation and he said, “Manipulating people is not a bad thing as long as what you manipulate people into doing is what they both can and should do.”  Not sure I ever agreed with that, but it seemed to work for him. 

Woodland Baptist Church - Ron at Pulpit

Ron was a remarkable if not unconventional motivator. He would do whatever it took to get the best out of the people with whom he worked. He’d stomp his feet, pull faces and even poke out his tongue to get what he wanted from his choirs. He encouraged individuals to develop their talent and to minister to the church with them. He always seemed to find a way to encourage folks and to get them to believe in themselves and what they could do even when they were uncertain and afraid.

Locally he would be known as the man who brought a high school/college choir called Shining Light to life. He was duplicating in our church what he had already done with a group called Joyful Sound at North Knoxville Baptist Church in Knoxville, Tennessee. I know when he was on staff with me at Woodland Baptist Church he literally through our music ministry put our church on the map in our city. The nearly ten years we were together were some of the most productive and happiest of my ministry.

Ron and I would sit down once a year and talk about where I wanted the church to go in the coming year and he would shape his program to support that. I don’t remember ever having a ministry conflict. We pretty much saw what we did in our focus areas as part and parcel of the same thing . . . building the local church and extending the kingdom.

When Ron moved to Houston I thought, as did he, that our shared ministry was probably over. Little did either one of us know that just a few short years later I would be at the Fairmont Central Baptist Church in Pasadena and needing a Minister of Music. All told, Ron and I shared ministry for about 15 years. Thank you, Rhonda, for letting me know he was available.

Shining Light - On the Road Again

During those 15 years we played a lot of golf, shared a lot of dinners, and saw God do some wonderful things. I have said it before, and I’ll repeat it here . . . If I could have had one Minister of Music throughout my ministry, and I have had some really good ones, that man would have been Ron Asbury. 

No man was ever a more committed defender and champion of his family than was Ron. When it came to Carolyn and the girls his love and loyalty knew no limits. I feel for the poor soul that ever hurt one of them regardless of the reason. I’ll not elaborate here, but I learned of his commitment and loyalty to them through experience not hearsay. 

The one thing I regret is that I don’t recall ever buying his lunch . . . I tried a time or two, but he outfoxed me even when I had arranged in advance with the restaurant to pay. I sometime wanted to laugh as Ron, Tim Edgar and Craig Heiman argued over who was going to pick up the check. Apparently, there is an art to that. 

I could go on and on recalling experiences and shared times. There is never a stopping place when we recall our shared journeys. What I really want to say is that Ron Asbury was and authentic Christian man . . . . not perfect but authentic. He was a good man and all that is included in that term. Ron Asbury was a generous colleague who understood collegiality, a loyal friend, devoted family man but most of all a brother in Christ. His legacy will live on through his children and his grandchildren. 

My brother, I hate to see you go . . . . a lifetime's not too long to live as friends but thank the Lord that friends are friends forever when the Lord is the Lord of them. Thank you, Lord, for making Ron a part of my life.

Reflecting on a Theme

 I learned today that when we started classes at Pasadena Senior High School in 1963 (You’ll remember that the 9th grade was at the Junior High Campuses) our class was 748 strong. By the time we graduated in May 1965 we were a mere 455. Our class had shrunk by 203 students. To be sure students would come and go during the ensuing years from 1963 to 1965 and even a few would die but the start and finish numbers are what they are with the bulk of the loss of classmates was due to the opening of a new school, SRHS, and the transfer of some 200 or so students. 

As the years have raced by I have come to recognize there is something unique and special about the PHS Class of 1965. It might be partly the result of how the class evolved. As pointed out above we started out with 748 students coming from several Junior High Schools. The between the 1963-64 school year and the 1864-65 year some 203 members of our class (as did a similar number from SoHo and my steady girl was one of them) transferred to a new high school (SRHS).

As a result of this movement of bodies (students) people thought students would form a new allegiance and connection at the new school. Bad thinking, I’d say. Old friendships die harder than new ones are easily formed. For more common-sense reasons than I care to go into the folks who officially transferred out of our class and attended a different school never broke their emotional and relational ties with the PHS Class of 1965 nor did we who remained at PHS with them. In my mind it has something to do with being bound together at a deeper level than just academics. Something that perhaps we should give credit for to our “spirit leaders” (Cheerleaders - it is explained later).

Again, my steady girl, Susan Warren, was one of those affected by those transfers . . .albeit she transferred from SoHo to SRHS but attended Southmore Junior High. Gets confusing doesn't it. She would tell me years later as we attended my PHS reunions, “I think I know more people here than you.” She may well have been right. At any rate she felt right at home at my reunions and never attended a SRHS reunion. Susan actually talked me into attending my very first reunion. She recognized then that strange connection we as a Class have.

For a long time, I thought it was only me until at one of our last reunions, 45th I think I mentioned it in a conversation on the balcony outside our hospitality room with Patrice Schexnayder, Sarah (Ruth) Walker-Palmer and my late wife Susan. (Wow, it just occurred to me that I am the last person in that group still living.) We all expressed similar feelings but couldn’t pinpoint any one thing that would account for it.

Patrice Schexnayder, a fellow PHS Class of 1965 graduate used to talk about what we perceived as the uniqueness of our class and what made it unique. We both felt that there were a lot of reasons but probably the overarching reason was the homogeneous nature of our class regarding our families and community. I often thought regarding our class the chant “we are family” was more than a chant. Susan once told me that our class reunions had more of a family reunion feel than a class. I think in the ways that really matter the Class of 1965 is more a family than a high school graduating class. 

Over the years, as I have spoken with classmates, seen your photos, heard your stories and discovered what you value and believe, I have concluded that we all experienced life pretty much the same way. I’ve learned that your home was not that different from mine. Same pictures on our walls, same style of furniture, mom’s making our clothes (they probably knew each other from Hancock’s).  Class structure was largely artificial. Patrice would say, “It’s because we were a homogeneous group” and I would reply, “Yep, we were kind of like a family.” 

At any rate somewhere along the way we developed a bond that was broader than academic and deeper that social. I can still hear Paula Maddox and John Crocker and the rest of the football cheerleaders admonish us at Pep Rallies in the boy's gym with cheers such as “I’ve got spirit how about you.” Sometimes it was even a “spirit” competition between classes. BTW - We did have the prettiest girl cheerleaders, and the guy were . . . ok.

Well, we did have a spirit, and I don’t mean the exuberance of a pep rally. By the time 1965 rolled around we had quietly and unknowing developed what I refer to as the PHS Class of 1965 Spirit. Something happened from the day when 748 new students individually stepped onto the campus of the Pasadena High School that resulted in 455 students walking off of a platform at the Old High School Football stadium with a spiritual bond that would last a lifetime.

Oh, to be sure that day in May of 1965 was the day we went out to assume a roll in a greater society but for a high percentage of us the threads we wove together have proven to be resilient and strong. These connections were so tightly woven that even time and distance could not break them. So, I have concluded that what makes the PHS Class of 1965 remarkable is a spiritual connection . . . . like family . . . . it is where I belong . . . . it is my home. PHS is the place where it was nurtured but it is the Class of 1965 to which I belong. The place is the peg, but it was my peers that made it a special group with great value for my life. 

Well, I still can’t define it but I thank God for it. For all of us the journey was not long but for others of us it has been long and a handful of us are still sharing the journey . . . Thank you PHS Class of 1965 for being uniquely you because in doing so you helped make us who we are.

IF YOUR A MEMBER OF THE PHS CLASS OF 1965 (or have any of the other relationships with the PHS class of 965 mentioned above) FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR COMMENTS AND SHARE ANY MEMORIES IN THE COMMENTS. 

We do like to hear from old friends.

A Giant of the Faith has Ascended on High.

This week the earthly church lost a dear friend and the saints in heaven gained a great soldier of the cross. Earlier this week my friend and my mentor Darrell Robinson went to be with the Jesus who he faithfully shared to all who would listen. I have been privileged to know many of the giants in Baptist life over my 77 years and Darrell in my judgement was the cream of the crop.

I am certain that multitudes have their own stories to tell about this faithful servant of the Lord and I wish they could. I want to share something of my journey with him. Words are not sufficient, but they are all I have. 

Darrell was a good preacher or as my late friend Lester Collins would say of himself, he was adequate. Darrell was a good and loving pastor and again as my friend would say of himself, he was adequate. Darrell was a capable theologian but as my friend would say of himself, he was adequate. I think Darrell would agree with this assessment. None of these things in my mind set Darrell apart from many of our colleagues. 

I remember he and I were having lunch at the old Tatar campus of the First Baptist Church in Pasadena; Texas and we were talking about a mutual friend of ours, Estol Williams, who was pastor of the Boulevard Baptist Church and my pastor. Darrell said, “You know Brother Estol and I went to seminary together.” I replied that I had understood that they had. He then replied, “I would never have graduated from seminary if it hadn’t been for Estol. I struggled with Greek and were it not for his tutoring me in Greek I’d have never passed that course.”  Darrell could never be accused of thinking more highly of himself that he should. 

No, Darrell’s most notable characteristic was that he loved people and he desired that all of them that came into the realm in which he resided come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord. I think that love for people is the engine behind another trait that marked his character . . . he never seemed to need to search for someone’s name. If he was ever introduced to you, he never forgot you and would greet you by name.

I recall when I was in seminary, we had returned to Pasadena to visit family and decided to attend First Baptist Church on Wednesday evening. It was their business meeting and I remember slipping in and sitting with my aunt (a member there). Darrell welcomed three new people into the church by Baptism, brought a really short message. Right in the middle of that message he looked up, saw us sitting there and stopped his message to welcome me, my wife, my two children by name and ask about our dog by name. He never met the dog that I know of and we had only seen him once or twice since meeting him at 15 years old. That told me he had been following our ministry from that first meeting. He truly cared.

But where most of us were just adequate the one area where Darrell exceeded all of us was in sharing Jesus and leading folks to faith in Christ Jesus. Darrell had a heart for the lost. I never met another Christian who lived to lead people to Christ like Darrell. I remember him telling me once about his constantly having the church community surveys and mass mailings. Darrell said, I want something in every home in the area to have something with our church’s name and contact information on it. Every family in this town is going to have at least one major crisis and I want the first thing that they reach for to be that card correspondence with our church’s contact information on it. 

Darrell was a winner of souls. He also was a promoter of God’s preachers. I recall back in 1983 that I had just become the Pastor of the Woodland Baptist Church in Beaumont, Texas. I did not know another preacher in the area, and they had all known each other a long time. I also did not know that Darrell was on te program. At any rate it was the night we pastors had been asked to get as many deacons as possible to attend the evangelism conference being held at the Calvary Baptist Church. I managed to have all my leading deacons present. Seemed like no matter how hard Susan and I tried we could not break into that “preacher” club. 

So Susan and I and our handful of deacons sat pretty much alone on the second pew from the front of the sanctuary. Darrell spoke and he was followed by a prayer time. During that prayer time he slipped down from the platform and came and sat next to me until the session had a break. Susan and I talked with Darrell for about ten minutes and then left to go get ready for his next session.  After the session was over and as Darrell was leaving every preacher in the place made it a point to introduce themselves to me. That wasn’t accidental. Darrell had accessed the situation and consciously made it clear that he and I were friend. Just one way he gave my ministry a boost.

I also recall an occasion in Dallas at the Texas Baptist Evangelism conference when Susan and I along with another friend of mine bumped into Darrell in the lobby outside the arena. As we stood their visiting Jimmy Draper, and another SBC official came up and interrupted us. Darrell turned to Jimmy and said, “Jimmy, I’m speaking with Brother Appleby right now, we’ll be through in a moment and then he turned back to our conversation. When we finished a moment or two later, he turned to Jimmy Draper and asked, “Jimmy, have you met Dr. Appleby and his wife Susan? I have invited them to join us for lunch.”  This was quintessential Darrell Robinson. 

I can list on my hand the people who influenced me both personally and in ministry and Darrell Robinson was one of those few men.  I have not tried to be exhaustive regarding my friend, but I have tried to show the kind of friend and person he was. I’m sure each of you reading this have your own stories and memories concerning Darrell. I invite you to share your special story of you and Darrell.  I look forward to reading your experience with Brother Darrell . . . .