What Has Become of My Christmas Traditions?

Well, it is Christmas morning and all is quiet on the home front now. I am imagining the excitement of those homes where small children live and remembering how it was when our own children and later grand children were small. As I do I am taken back to the days of my own childhood and the excitement that Christmas brought. Ah, those were the days. I wouldn’t trade them, as my English mother would say, “for all the tea in China.”

I suppose every family has its own Christmas traditions and well they should. Christmas is significant because it is a metaphor for what God has done in providing the only road for man’s  redemption. Let’s just stipulate that “Jesus is the reason for the season.”  After all, at it’s core  Christmas marks the birth of Jesus. The birth of the Christ child should be at the heart of all our Christmas traditions however varied they may be.

It is Christmas traditions about which I wish to write. Not Christmas traditions in general but my family’s traditions and what they really meant and said about us.

First, because my family members, no matter what else they may have been, were deeply committed to the Christian faith and were in the deepest meaning of the phrase, “spiritually minded” our traditions grew out of Scripture.  Our family was also structured more like a clan or tribe than a single family. As I have written previously, my aunts and uncles were more like secondary parents and my cousins like brothers and sisters. There is a sense in which that is still true of those of us who are grandchildren of Claud and Sarah Appleby.

Don’t misunderstand my point here.  My father and his siblings all had their own families but there was, and in my heart and mind still exists, a sense that the extended family was at least as significant and important as the “immediate” family.  In a large measure we developed our sense of being, significance and worth from the larger extended family and that was reinforced in our own family units.

Above everything else we were a Christian family and our name was Appleby. That meant that by simply bearing the name “Appleby” we were expected to conduct ourselves in a certain manner. To bring dishonor to the Appleby name was seen as a betrayal not only of our family name and values but of the Lord Jesus himself. It also meant that no member of the family, regardless of how far from those values they roamed, was abandoned or cast aside. Another attribute was that spouses once in the family were always in the family. As one former spouse said, “It was easier to get into the Appleby family than it is to get out . . . getting out is near impossible!”

My Clan (I shall refer to my extended family as the Clan) was structured around the sixth  commandment . . . “Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”  We were not really a paternalistic or maternalistic clan in the strictest sense. As long as both of my grandparents were living they were honored by their children and grandchildren as the head of our clan. This was a position of honor and not authority. They earned the position as head of our clan by virtue of the strength of their character.

To be sure the individual family units could do as they wished and often did. Each one developed Christmas traditions of their own. However, the individual family units always gathered on Christmas Eve as the Appleby Clan to celebrate the birth of Jesus and our ties and unity as an Appleby. It was such a heart warming sight as brothers and sisters and cousins all with their families in tow began to gather on Christmas Eve for the annual clan gathering. That gathering was always in the house where my grandparents were at the time.

I suspect you are beginning to see where this narrative is going. Our Christmas traditions grew out of the Christmas story itself and our clan like family structure. All of our Christmas traditions reinforced our existence as a family. Nothing was more important than our faith in God and our commitment to family.

As time passed and my grandparents passed with it so did the strength of the annual gathering. Like most families there simply was enough strength of personality or character among the children of my grandparents to assume the mantle of head of the clan with the same degree of honor and character that would draw the rest to a central gathering.

To be sure we tried to keep the annual clan gathering in hopes that one day it would regain its former glory. However, that was not to be. I mourned its lost. I longed for its return. You see I didn’t understand then what I know now. The clan I knew as a kid was in one sense gone but in another it had simply metamorphosed. The sub clans (individual family units) became clans in their own right . . . thus the cycle continued or as I like to think renewed itself every third generation.

A few years ago we had a cousins reunion in San Antonio, Texas. These cousins were three generations removed from Claud and Sarah Appleby . . . old enough to remember the old ways and young enough to realize that each one was a chieftain in their own right. It was like and annual gathering of the “Fathers” and our oldest cousin was the honorary head of all the clans.

In that gathering a strange thing occurred. We reaffirmed our heritage and acknowledged the old ones as the source of our core values. I think each one gathered realized, maybe for the first time, in a comprehensive way that at that gathering the past and the future had met in the present. I know I came away with a new assurance that while the old traditions for me were a memory they were alive and well in my children and the children of my kinsmen. It still means something significant to be an Appleby.

It was during these gatherings that we realized we were more than our own personal family unit. We were a large group of people who shared a common faith and held common core beliefs that distinguished us from everyone else in the world.

It was then and there that it occurred to me that what was significant to me about Christmas for the Appleby Clan beyond the obvious birth of our Lord was my family . . . is what it means to be an Appleby. Our tradition of an annual Christmas gathering where the whole family is gathered and served as a the main event that connected me to all the Appleby’s who had come before me and those who come after me probably will change or even vanish. However, what was signified in that gathering will go on. Things like family and personal integrity, respect and honor for the older generation (especially parents), honesty, loyalty and the Christian faith continue.

My ancestors were not shadowy figures but real people who handed down from generation to generation what it means to be an Appleby. We, the Appleby clan, are a continuum. I am who I am because of who my forefathers were. 

We could live our lives freely but we must never compromise the integrity of our family name. You
see it is not my name alone. I share it with my children and my cousins and their families. My actions reflect on them and theirs on mine. I am duty bound to maintain the integrity with which that name has historically been regarded.

Thanks to the pages of Facebook I have been able to follow the lives of many of my cousins children. For the most part this has been reassuring. Our family values will continue even if the specific traditions do not.

However, having said all of that, I still think there is something to be said for the annual family gathering and how it binds us together as the extended Appleby Clan. I understand and I accept the changes in structure but I do not appreciate them or feel they are as valuable or as good as those with which I grew up. But at least the core values continue. I cannot help but feel that something important has been lost in the family diaspora.

Best of all, in the end, there will be a Glad Reunion Day.

What does the Bible Say about Caring for Our Parents?

God called me to preach some 53 years ago and that has been the primary focus of my life. Preaching, teaching and doing missions have consumed much of my ministry life.  However, these do not tell the whole story. You see most of those 53 years were spent doing those things from the position of senior pastor in four Baptist Churches.

It was in that capacity that I came to see a frightening trend in the care of the elderly. Over those years of ministry I often visited the elderly members of our church in their homes, in assisted living facilities and in “Nursing” homes.

Early in my ministry most of the elderly members of the churches I served either still lived in their own homes or in the home of one of their children. As time passed, more and more, depending on their health needs, were moved into assisted living facilities and/or nursing homes.

Some did well in the assisted living facilities but few faired well in the nursing homes. Unfortunately, there seemed to be a direct relationship between their financial resources and how well the elderly faired in all of these facilities. Essentially, like in everything else in life, you get what you can pay for.

My observation from my own experience comes largely from watching my family deal with this. It started with my grandparents and later continued with my own parents. It also included the many visits to elderly church members. The result was that I came to see that people generally faired better in their own homes or the homes of their children.

When I was growing up there were few “old folks” homes. The ones we had were either locally owned or operated by fraternal organizations.  Over time demand and cost changed all that and most elderly facilities became a part of a larger “health care” company. As such they were little more than one more revenue stream for that corporation. With this the attention to personal dignity gave way to financial and medical necessity and governmental regulations. In some ways this improved the quality of care medically. However, in my view it diminished the mental and spiritual aspects of care by robbing the resident (now called clients or patients) of their dignity as humans created in God’s image.

Originally these facilities were a part of the community and the people who owned them lived nearby as well. They were not state of the art but they were personal and made real efforts to create an atmosphere that helped preserve the dignity of the residents.

The residents of these facilities eventually began to become isolated from both family and society. Isolation for these “institutionalized” elderly was further compounded by the fact that children, over time, tend to visit less often. This is facilitated by institutional work schedules that discourage visitations at certain hours. The old saying “Out of sight out of mind” really does apply.

In addition to social and familial isolation I have seen too many people enter a nursing home facility with full use of their mental faculties only to develop dementia in short order. I have come to believe that if you don’t have dementia when you enter a nursing home you soon will. It seems to me to be a coping mechanism for dealing with the unpleasant reality life. As my 90 year old mother-in-law says of the really nice assisted living center in which she lives, “I want out of this jail.”

I recall that as a child growing up I had access to my grandparents most of my life. Most of their lives they lived independently. I was carried in my grandmother’s arms as a child, heard her pray for me by name, watched her grow old and was with her as she died. That happened because as my grandparents grew older and unable to sustain themselves without help they were able to take up residence with Dad’s sister. In short, they remained a vital part of the family. I am sure it was hard on everyone involved but over all it was also best for everyone.

This served as my model for what I chose to do with my own mother. I was determined to preserve her dignity as a person created in God’s image as long and as well as I could. She lived in her own apartment, attended church, visited friends and did all her own shopping etc. as long as she was physically able. As here health deteriorated I began assuming responsibility for some of those things until I became here primary care giver and ultimately That included being her chauffeur . . . driving her to church, dialysis  three days a week, doctors, and anywhere else she needed or wanted to go. Finally, I sat by her bedside, held her hand and spent her last few minutes in this world as she died. All of this while serving as the full time senior pastor of a growing Baptist Church.

You ask, wasn’t that a hardship? My answer is, “Absolutely!” It was harder than you can imagine. It involved meeting all my own responsibilities as senior pastor of a growing and thriving church as well as seeing to it that she received the care she needed and was able to grow old with her dignity intact.

Keep in mind, not only was it hard for me and my family it was hard for her. It is hard enough to loose ones independence, even out of necessity, but it is unreasonable and selfish to allow our elderly parents to give up their dignity as well. That's part of what "honor your father and your mother" means.

Now, understand, I am not denigrating the concepts of "Assisted Living" and "Nursing Home" facilities. They apparently are necessary in our modern day and given the religious, spiritual and philosophical views of the times in which we live may be the only answer for most people. However, they leave much to be desired when it comes to social milieu and individual dignity.  Only family can provide that.

The only thing I would say to our children and grandchildren in this regard is, “Go take a look at these facilities.” Why, because they are your destiny.

However, as Christians, we should evaluate how we treat the elderly members of our family with an eye to what the Bible says about the subject. So here are my top seven Bible verses about caring for parents.

Mark 7:9-13 And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in
order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God)— then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

Clearly this is a stern rebuke and may in fact be the sternest rebuke Jesus ever gave the Pharisees. Basically He is saying that they have failed to care for their aging parents in keeping with the Fifth Commandment  ----  “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”

Essentially the problem was that caring for their parents was costing them more time and money than they were willing to spend on caring for their parents in their old age. So, to honor them they were declaring the money for caring for their parents as Corban. That is, they declared their resources as an offering to the temple. Jesus accuses them of using this practice as a guise for not honoring their parents as required by the commandment. They are simply making an excuse to neglect their parents and that is clearly sin.

In short, Corban was for their convenience. Caring for our parents is rarely convenient but any attempt to avoid our responsibility because of convenience is nothing short of a modern day form of Corban

.  
Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

As mentioned above, this is why Jesus was so angry with the Pharisees . . . they were breaking this vital commandment. It is important to notice that in the Ten Commandments God gave Moses on the Mountain of God (Sinai). This commandment is so important to God that He placed it first in order of importance regarding what theologians call the horizontal (person to person) commandments that deal with human relationships.

If they didn’t honor their parents, as the Pharisees had been doing, then it will not go well with them. You honor them by dong what is necessary to insure that they do not loose their dignity in old age.  Paul will address this as well.

Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”  One of the ways we help preserve our aging parents dignity is by soliciting their opinions and listening to what have to say. We would do well to listen to our parents because they have had a lifetime of experience. We will be the beneficiaries of their experience by learning to avoid making the same mistakes they made. We are not to despise our mother, even when she is old. In short, don’t make the mistake of th Pharisees mentioned above made.

I cannot begin to tell you how often as I visited in nursing homes the residents would tell me things like, “My children don’t visit me very often” and some would even say, “They don’t come at all.”  They feel like a “throw away generation.”  To them, they feel like they have outlived their usefulness and so their children don’t want to waste their time, change their schedule, or be inconvenienced by visiting their aged parents.  A common thread coming from them is, I don’t know why the Lord doesn’t just take me home.” Clearly, this comes from their sense of worthlessness and abandonment. Not even God wants them.

John 19:25-27 “But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.”

This verse is an illustration in real life from our Lord how we should relate to our parents. So important is our responsibility to them in their old age that even on our dying day we should arrange for their care. While He was being crucified, He is insuring that his mother will be taken care of. John obeyed Jesus’ command as indicated by the statement, “from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.”  Clearly, Jesus is modeling accepting responsibility for our parents well-being in their old age.


First Timothy 5:4 “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.”

Paul in addressing this issue with Timothy and the church in general tells Timothy that if a widow has children and grandchildren, it is primarily the responsibility of her children to take care of their mother’s needs.  While the church (by extension the society) has responsibilities in caring for the elderly that responsibility is only secondary. The primary responsibility for our parents well being and dignity in old age lies with us, their children.

Caring for our elderly parents “is pleasing in the sight of God.”  Paul ties caring for our parents in their old age or need to pleasing God. That means that not only is this a service we owe to our parents it is also a service to our God. The questions we need to answer are, “Why shouldn’t we take care of our own widowed or aging parents?” Is there is a reason(s) that are acceptable to our own consciences that make it better for our parents that we do not make it possible for them to live out their days in this world with dignity? I think we may very well conclude as many cultures around the world have that aging parents are generally better served in the home of their children. Perhaps our priorities are a bit skewed.

1st Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

A few verses later Paul basically calls those who don’t even provide for their own family worse than an unbeliever. Now that is really a tough spot given the fact that unbelievers are in a far worse state that believers when standing before God on the Day of Judgment. It seems plain enough to me. Not only failure in this area not please God it puts the one not caring for his parents (and own children) in danger at the final judgement. But I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Isaiah 46:3-4 “Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.”

God, as a benevolent Father, has said that He cares for His people, even into their old age. Not only did Jesus set an example in regard to seeing that our parents are cared for in old age but God himself has modeled it for us. Unlike so many today God has literally cared for us from our birth to our death and beyond.

God has carried us all along the way of our lives, even into their older days, thus showing them that God will not ever forsake them and never will He leave them (Duet 31:8; Heb 13:5).

Conclusion

We are to walk in His steps. To quote a once popular statement, when it comes to honoring our aging parents we are to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Would He abandon them as some do today? Would He institutionalize them for convenience? Would he rationalize His motives to feel better? I rather think he would bear the burden for the joy that is set before him. I can tell you without fear of contradiction that I would give all that I have to drive my mom to dialyses, push her along in her wheelchair, get out of bed a two in the morning to respond to her needs.

That doesn’t mean I want her to return to this life with all her burdens of body weakness but it does mean that I did not find the “burden” of insuring she lived and died with dignity.  To paraphrase an old expression “she ain’t heavy she’s my mother.”

In the Old Testament, there is a law that says, “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord” (Lev 19:32).  This is a command to show respect to those who God has BLESSED with long life. Isn’t it interesting that God has said that living long upon the earth is a blessing and yet we have turned it into a terrifying prospect.

How many stand up when an elderly person comes into the room? I ask you, “When was the last time you saw that happen?”

Do you consider yourself a religious person? How does James’ statement that “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:27) fit into your thinking regarding your parents?

I am not saying that there are not circumstances that will all but demand that our elderly parents will need to be institutionalized. I am sure there are. Indeed, it may be the best thing all the way around. This would be true for cases of advanced Alzheimer disease as our parents needs exceed our ability to supply them.

What I am saying is that we need to make sure that is the case and that we are not rationalizing what can be done to keep them in a family setting simply because we do not want our routine and convenience disturbed. I am afraid all to often it is really “all about us.”

I can promise you that as long as our minds are functioning at near normal levels we prefer to be with our families where we can watch our grandchildren and great grandchildren grow and maintain a sense of significance.

So Your Church Needs A Pastor? . . . But What Kind?

One of the most important times in the life of any church is when they are seeking to fill a vacancy in the position of Senior Pastor. High on the list of does and don'ts is deciding what kind of pastor does our church need at this point in time. Do we need someone who is a great pulpiteer or do we need someone who is a great pastor?

Remember, a great pastor and a great preacher are not necessarily synonyms!  In fact, it is the rare man who combines the qualities that make for both a great pastor and a great preacher.

Unfortunately, that is exactly what most churches want . . . a great pastor and a great pulpiteer. It is also unfortunate that getting such a man is a rare accomplishment and even then one that is often short lived.

This is not an easy question to answer. The difficulty comes  from the fact that each requires particular gifts, skills and focus. 

If a  man is to be a great pulpiteer then he will need large amounts of time to give attention to study, prayer and personal devotion. He will need to focus on sermon preparation and delivery.

On the other hand, if a man is to be a great pastor he is going to need to dedicate large blocks of time to being "with" his people. He will need to discover their needs and how he should respond to them. His people skills will need to be finely honed.

It is my opinion that very few people can embody both of these at the same time. For one obvious reason . . . .time. The pastor only has so much time and to be great at one means to neglect the other to some degree. My experience is that once a church determines what there greatest need it (Pulpiteer or pastor) then they choose a man strong in that and adequate in the other.

Of course the ideal circumstance is a division of responsibility. That is, there should be a someone who is a great pastor and someone who is a great pulpiteer. However, in small to medium size churches this is not financially feasible unless they can locate a older or retired senior pastor to take on the "pastoral" duties and allow the senior pastor to be devoted to proclamation of the Gospel.

With this in mind I want to offer some suggestions on how to recognize a Great Pastor and a Great Preacher (pulpiter).  Remember, a great pastor and a great preacher are not necessarily synonyms!  

So, how can you spot a great pastor? 

What I want to talk about now is what makes a man a great pastor? The answer is not a simple one and yet it is not difficult. Virtually any man called of God to the pastoral ministry can be a great pastor.  The same cannot be said of a great pulpiteer.

So the first decision you must make is, “Do we need a Great Pastor or a Great Pulpiteer? If the answer is a great pastor here are some of the qualities for which I suggest you look.

I would begin by suggesting being a great pastor begins with his call from God to pastoral ministry. I never defined myself as having been called to pastoral ministry. I was specifically called to “preach the Gospel.” Anything I did as a pastor was learned through study or practice because it was required as a part of the structure of Baptist churches at the time I was called by God to preach. As a pastor, I was as my friend, the late Lester Collins used to say, “adequate.

However, the common denominator for both “great pulpiteers” and “great pastors” is a sense of a distinctive call by God on their lives to serve in that capacity.

Second, I would suggest that a great pastor does not “feel” his way along. That is, he doesn’t “fly by the seat of his pants” making things up as he plods along. The great pastor has a goal in mind and that is to apply the ancient truths of Scripture to the times in which he and his congregants live. He cares about his flock but also cares about ancient truth and how it applies to modern times.  He begins with the unchanging and then applies them to the world of change.  Bottom line, his goal is to enable his congregants to live out those ancient and unchanging truths in their daily lives. His greatest joy is to see them grow in spiritual maturity.

As someone has said, “He knows you cannot step into the same river twice exactly as it was, but that the Nile endures.” A great pastor cares more about Jesus (and then you) than about the “program” of the institution.  A great pastor is a man enabled by God, not to build a church, but to get us ready for life and death.

A great pastor is not into himself. He spends a great amount of his time helping people who cannot help him. If you are sick, he comes to visit you; if you are hungry, he finds a way to provide you with food; if you are in prsion, he visits you. When doing this he does not distinguish between members based on socio-economic circumstances. He moves toward the need. He ares for both the up and out and the down and out. Your wealth or station in life does not speed nor does is slow his response to your need. As Jesus said, “he cares for his sheep” . . . all of his sheep.  He does not hate the rich or the poor . . . but loves people. Simply stated, the love of God flows through him so he does not see a person and first think: problem. Insteadd, he sees the sheep of his flock and thinks: “How can I help?”

So, if your church needs a great Pastor the man I just described is the kind you need to be looking at. Then,  when you get him do not be critical if he turns out to be a great pastor but an average or even mediocre pulpiteer.

How do you recognize a Great pulpiteer?

Now if your church needs a great pulpiteer more than a great pastor. This is a little easier. Basically, you listen and observe him when he is preaching in his normal setting.  Quiet frankly, every preacher has what we call his "sugar stick" sermons that are reserved for pulpit (Pastor Search Committees) committees and church considering calling them.

Let me suggest that Great Pulpiteers have a charisma about them brought on by the absolutely rock solid conviction they have that they are called by God to preach the Gospel. I recommend when you have decided to interview that the first two questions you ask are (1) "Would you please share you salvation experience?" and (2) Was their a specific time in your life when God "called" you to preach? Could you share that with us?"

I would then look at study habits. What is his study routine? How much time does he give to sermon preparation? This will be indicative of his commitment to Biblical preaching. It doesn't matter whether his preaching style is expository, textual or topical as long as it is fundamentally Biblical.

Does he appear comfortable in the pulpit? He may be shy and retiring in relationships but when he stands at the pulpit he needs to do so in a consciousness that he stands there in the authority of God.  He is speaking for God to God's people and there must be a certainty to his message and appearance.  He is not sharing his thoughts with us, rather, he is declaring God's word to us. Is there a "Thus saith Lord" in his preaching?

Are his sermon relevant to the times in which we live. One of the things that both the Great Pastor and the Great pulpiteer have in common is the ability to take the ancient text and bring it to life in the present moment.

I told you this was easier. So your church needs a great pulpiteer and you have found and called the person you believe to be the person to whom God has led you. Once that is done don't criticize him for being an average or mediocre pastor when you called him as a Great pulpiteer.

Now in passing. Great pulpiteers generally produce growing churches that in time begin to sense a need for someone given to pastoral ministry. However, before thinking about a change in leadership when the need for a pastor begins to increase. Instead of new leadership think of additional leadership.

WARNING: My experience has been a church will all too often call a prophet when they in fact want a priest, That is, they call an individual with great preaching skills when in fact they really want someone who is great at pastoral ministry.

Another Giant has Ceased His Labor.

I have now lived long enough to begin witnessing the passing of the great men God has brought into my life. Evidence of this can be seen in this blog. Sometimes I think it borders on a tribute page. At any rate, I am very much aware that significant people in my life are leaving this life at an ever increasing pace.  Their earthly race is done and now their heavenly journey has begun.

You probably have noticed that I seem to be influenced most by what most of us would call "ordinary" people. If that is your assessment you'd be correct.  

To be sure I have met over my lifetime some of the giants of our faith. These are men who I appreciate and who have honor enough for the way God has used them to touch my life.  I suppose I could become a name dropper and by association imply that I breathed  the same thin air as did they.  

Suffice it to say, I have known and worked with the greatest names in the kingdom of God in my time and each has had their impact on my life.  Names that you would recognize immediately. And yes, I am grateful to God for the role they have played in my life and ministry.   

But, I have learned that God puts us in the places He wants us to be.  I remember when I registered for the draft back in the 1960's my dad, among other things, saying to me, "Son don't volunteer for anything. If the Army wants you to do something they'll tell you."  I sort of feel that way about God . . . . He puts us where he is going to use us or get us ready to be used. 

I have learned through the years and as I reflect on my life journey that I have walked among giants and many of those giants were what we might call "ordinary" men. Jack Roachell was one of those giants. God placed me in Lomax as Jack's pastor and used Jack to show me something else important about the work of the real Deacon . . . . namely, "By their fruits you shall know them." 

Well, today, I lost another of my personal giants.  His name is Jack Roachell. Jack was a deacon in one of the four churches where I was privileged to serve as pastor. By trade he spent his early years as an ordinary laborer and the last half of his life as a Barber. He was the only man I knew who was strong enough to use an 8# hammer head with a 1.4 inch rebar handle.  

On of my fondest memories of Jack Roachell was standing on the front porch of the church with him, James Furlow, Jack Briggs, and Dudley Andrews and I I said, "The grass here at the church sure does look like it could use cutting." With all four of us looking straight ahead I believe it was James Furlow who replied, "Well preacher our former pastor used to cut the grass." I quickly replied, "Well, I spoken with him about that and he said he didn't think he wanted to do it anymore."  I thought Jack was going collapse in laughter. From that day on we shared many a joke and a lot of understatements. 

I used to call him "Jack mustard seed" . . . . a play on the Johnny Appleseed legend.  He seemed to always have a sack of mustard green seeds from the Smith's La Porte Feed Store and he regularly seeded every bar ditch from DuPont to Spencer Highway.

 He drove a church bus for years and it was almost like a cartoon as his little 38 passenger bus

bounced up and down the half-paved roads of our little Lomax community. He's stop by the house on Sunday mornings for coffee and sometimes I'd join him on that ride.  

He'd sing and the kids would join in. It was loud but it was fun. I remember when we dedicated our new education building and we had a lot of former  members attending that a young woman asked me, "Is that Jack Roachell over there?" I replied, "Yes it is." She immediately walked over and gave him a big hug.  A few minutes later, Jack knowing I'd witnessed the whole scene came over and asked me, "Who was that woman?"  I teased him a little about his bad memory and then pointed out who it was and added, "Jack, she road your bus to church every week for three or so years and she was telling me how much you influenced her life."  Only eternity can tell how many other lives were touched in the exact same way. 

I mentioned he was a Barber. He cut my hair and every other preacher in the areas hair as well. No charge was ever made. It was something he, as an "ordinary" man, could do for those who labored in the preaching of the gospel. But that's not all. He also regularly cut the hair on every boy's that lived at Boy's Harbor. Then, somehow he found the time to visit the local Nursing Home  and do the same for the men who lived there. Oh, an each man there that wanted one got a "Barber's Shave."   

Jack never missed visitation and he was always giving me  a name and address of some troubled couple. Sometimes he told them I was coming and sometimes (most of the time) he didn't bother with those kind of minor details. 

Hardly a Monday went by that you couldn't find Jack and myself on Day Lake. Two men can share a lot of thinking sitting in a Jon boat floating. Such memories cannot be manufactured they are God given, 

I learned a lot of things from my journey with Jack but what I learned most was what a real Deacon looked like.  Jack was not interested in power and influence in the church. He was content to be a servant. Quietly he was the hands and feet of our Lord walking in our town doing good. I wish every Deacon could have had the view of the life of this Godly man as he lived out what it means to be a real Deacon.

Among the last thing I said to him, as we sat together in hall at the First Baptist Church in La Porte just before he left the next morning for Arkansas was, "Jack, I want you to know that your lifetime of quiet ministry has not gone unnoticed. I have taken note and more importantly the Lord has noticed every head of hair you cut at Boy's Harbor and the nursing home; He saw every face you shaved and every kindness you showed a child; and every home we were permitted in because you cared." 

Just before the party ended that evening I told Jack, "Jack I am going to be praying for you because this move is a big transition for anyone but it is even bigger when you reach our age." He said, "I know and I am a little afraid of it but Brother David I have told the Lord I am going to make the best I can of it." Then he added, "Besides it will not be that long anyway." 

May the Lord give his church more men like Jack Roachell! 

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

A Preacher Died Today

I know most of my friends didn't notice and perhaps they shouldn't be expected to have noticed, but today a preacher died. To be sure his family has taken notice and feel that inevitable sense of loss. Because of his calling they had to share him with the church he served and the community in which he lived and now a terribly all too common disease has done its worst and left an empty place in their hearts. Friends and congregants weep today but as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow they will continue their lives and that is exactly what they should do. From the world's point of view . . .

I am certain as Jim began his journey with the Lord as a preacher he had little idea where that journey would lead. But some how in the economy of God we were both chosen by God to be pastor of the same church though he managed to out tenure me by many years. That by itself impressed me. However, we did not meet until I had been gone a number of years. If memory serves me correctly we first met at a reunion of the popular youth music group Shinning Light and the next time was at the funeral of one of my Youth who died a tragic death. Then when I retired we moved back to the area and he became my pastor. Today, on the day of his home going I offer my gratitude to God for allowing Jim Sliger to become a part of the tapestry of my life. 

There is an old hymn that says, "trials dark on every hand and we cannot understand all the ways that God would bring us to that blessed promised land." The years of ministry, as with all of us who serve under the "calling of God,"  had their share of joys and sorrows but never a sense that God did not call us. Jim wanted nothing more and nothing less than to faithfully fulfill God's calling on his life. And today, I am confident that this morning one of the first things, if not the first thing Jim heard, was "Well done thou good and faithful servant."  Oh, and the day will come when we will pick up our conversation. 

I remember hearing the story of an old missionary who spent his entire life in Africa and because of advanced age was returning home. As the ship docked he saw a great crowd gathered and heard a band playing. He did not realize that Theodore Roosevelt was on his ship and the band and crowds were there to welcome him home. By the time the missionary reached the dock the crowds had dissipated and the band was gone and the person from the mission board was not even there to meet him. He complained to the Lord that he had labored his entire life for the Kingdom and not one person greeted him as he came home. Then as he paused in his aloneness he hears a still small voice say, "My son you are not home yet."  

But mark my words . . .  today a preacher didn't just die. His transition from life in this world to life in the world beyond has not gone unnoticed. Jesus has noticed. After all it is He that has said, "Come up higher . . . .Good and faithful servant."  So let the bells of heaven ring for there is joy today.  I knew him first casually over a number of years and then as my own pastor for the past several years. He preached with a sense of urgency; he ministered to other while he, himself, battled the terrible disease of cancer. Humbly he carried out the assignment God gave him when He called him "to preach." Then today, the Father called him home.

Going to miss you my friend but . . . .  

I'll meet you in the morning by the bright riverside
When all sorrow has drifted away
I'll be standing at the portals when the gates open wide
At the close of life's long dreary day.

I'll meet you in the morning with a how do you do
And we'll sit down by the river and with rapture old aquaintance renew
You'll know me in the morning by the smile that I wear
When I meet you in the morning in the city that's built four square.

I will meet you in the morning at the end of the way
On the streets of that city of gold
Where we all can be together and be happy always
While the years and the ages shall roll.

I'll meet you in the morning with a how do you do
And we'll sit down by the river and with rapture old acquaintance renew
You'll know me in the morning by the smile that I wear
When I meet you in the morning in the city that's built four square...

A Mighty Prince Has Fallen

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It seems that just a few days ago I was writing a tribute to one of the finest men I have ever known, Floyd Dees, and today I am reading the obituary for his son, an equally fine man. You can read what I said about Floyd Dees on my blog entry at the time.  

At any rate, at the time, I stated that Floyd Dees was a good man . . . .and he was. Indeed, there was no finer example of what a man should be than "Mr. Dees."  In fact everyone I knew, with the exception of myself, his son and a few intimate friends always referred to him as "Mr. Dees."  It was a title he earned based on his character. 

After I learned of Eddies' battle with Pancreatic cancer I wrote a small blurb on his FB page using the old saying, "The nut never falls too far from the tree." I jokingly added that I didn't mean he was a nut . . . . and I didn't. What I meant is that as he got older, and lost weight due to his cancer he was looking more and more like his father.  

To look like Floyd Dees is not a bad thing but the even better thing is that he has demonstrated many of the same qualities that his father had. He was loyal to his friends; polite in conversation; caring in the midst of need; wanted to fix what was broken if he could; and friendly with everyone. That's how Eddie was.  

I saw Eddie in a number of ways and I appreciate them all. He was a fabulous teacher; he was a great coach and motivator; he always wanted to position people so they could do their best. Not only that, he loved his family, friends and hometown of Hope Mills. He was honored that they allowed him to be mayor and he was proud of the roll he played in the restoration of the town lake.  Floyd Dees, the man whose life was the pattern for Eddie was, as I said earlier, "Mr. Dees" but Eddie Dees was "Mr. Hope Mills." 

Eddie knew every street, creek, trail, and building in Hope Mills but he loved the people who drove on those streets, fished in that lake, played golf on the nearby courses, and worked in those buildings. For Eddie it was all about the people in His community and helping make their lives better. I am not sure he realized that through that whole process of making the community better he was making himself better. 

I saw Eddie as a son and a stepson. I saw how he cared for his father and how he was patient with my mother-in-law. I watched him under stress of all kinds and knew that he was made of the stern stuff that makes men both gentle and strong. 

A mighty prince has fallen and his absence will be felt by many but most of all it will be felt by his girls Casey & Carey.  One thing I have learned over the years is that life is not always fair but God is always good.  

Generations yet to be born will benefit from the life of Eddie Dees. His legacy is in his students, his athletes, and his family. 

I offer these words from Michael W, Smith to those of us who called Eddie Dees, "Friend."

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter of your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show

We'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

To live as friends

Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

No a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends