This past Christmas one of my children gave me a book entitled Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff. It is a kind of anecdotal look at Christian behavior. It is sort of like a field manual for Christians. It is literally a collection of our somewhat odd behavior as Christians. If your Christian I recommend you take a look at it but be aware, you just might recognize yourself in its pages. At any rate, it got me to thinking about the things in my own experience as a member of Baptist churches since the age of ten.Back in those days we had our own conduct rules that were derived from what appeared to me then and certainly does today as being drawn out of "thin air." I just never seemed to understand the reasons for some of the rules under which we chaffed.
For example, I remember attending a children's.s event at what was then the local Baptist encampment . . . "Peach Creek." The encampment had just one swimming pool. The girls had an assigned time for using the pool as did the boys. This was NEVER the same time. Any way, as an eleven year old boy I recall standing in a line with other boys of the same age waiting for the girls to clear the pool area so we could have our turn. The kid in front of me asked the counselor standing next to him what I thought was a logical question. He said, "How come the boys and girls can't swim at the same time so we can have more time swimming?" Then came the standard answer to such inquiries, "Well son, it is to keep you from having bad thoughts about the girls." A moment or two later this insightful eleven year old replied, "I think it is you adults who are the ones having the bad thoughts." Maybe there is something to that saying, "Out of the mouth's of babes . . . "
We also had a rule about the length of girl's skirts. I understand this is still an issue in some places. At any rate it was hard to understand why the hem of their skirts had to be a minimum of two inches below the knee to be acceptable at school or any school function. However, the same school had the cheerleaders wearing what was essentially a mini-skirt not to mention the swimwear that the girls swim team used. It just seemed odd to me.
Off course there was also the church notion that "good kids" just didn't dance . . . especially good Baptist teens. Why you asked. Well for a couple of reasons as I was told. First, all that gyration and close touching (hardly any real touching back in my day) would work you into some sort sexual frenzy and that could lead to something worse. Another reason was that dancing per se may not be wrong but what went on at dances was . . . things like, say, smooching behind the gym. Well, all I can say is, I never did learn to dance nor did I do any smooching behind the gym. Oh, it wasn't because of these goofy rules it was because I was self-conscious and did not want to be embarrassed.
There was also "you can't date my daughter if you don't come to church first" rule. Now this I thought was a great rule (I really do) and it worked in wonderful ways. First, it put dating in a wholesome context, after all, what's more wholesome than a church event. Just so you know, it was at one of these functions that I did my some my earliest "smooching." As I recall, more of my friends and I came regular church attenders because it was the only way we were going to have a date with these girls. A byproduct of this rule was that many a young man became Christians as a result of wanting to date a girl whose parents invoked this rule. In fact, I know some preachers who came out of this rule. Seems it was an effective outreach tool.
Another strange rule was the one that said you had to attend a Sunday School (Bible) Class three consecutive Sundays before you could join the class. Of course once you joined the rule was null and void. I remember a man asking to join a class after attending several times (but not consecutively) and being told about the rule who replied, "I joined the church on the first Sunday I attended but I have to attend this class thee consecutive Sundays to join it. That's a silly rule. Besides I have been coming pretty regular and I don't think I've seen any of you here two weeks in a row. BTW - there is no such rule and there never has been. It's an early urban myth.
Then there is the crazy rule that "good" Christians would not work on Sunday. However, it was ok for the good Christians who did not work on Sunday to eat at a restaurant on Sunday that required others to work.
I also remember the day I violated the rule, "never use your Bible as a tray." I was visiting a church and was invited to attended an after church fellowship (party). I had my 4 month old baby in my arms, a plate filled with food in one hand and my Bible in the other. When I got to the drink station I had no way to hold the drink so I turned my Bible so it could serve as a tray for the drink. WOW, you'd thought I set the place on fire. One of the fine ladies of the church really upbraided me for desecrating the Word of God. She never offered to help.
I'm sure there a more of these "unwritten" rules that have dogged us in the past. I am equally sure we have some today that our children are going to look back upon and scratch their heads and say, "Duh." Well if you have any "duh" rules from your past why not share them with us.
